I Need Blue
I turned around to see a masked man pointing a gun at me. It was just the beginning of a series of events, including robbery and abduction, which changed my life forever. I Need Blue, hosted by Jen Lee, is a podcast series featuring lived-experiences from survivors of life events. I NEED BLUE creates space for survivors of trauma to feel they BELONG, are LOVED, UNDERSTOOD and EMPOWERED! I called 9-1-1 and they provided me with life-saving directions to help my customer who was having a medical emergency. Law enforcement rescued us and caught the robber. Our first-responders face unique traumas every day. I NEED BLUE provides space for them too!
I Need Blue
From Ironman to Quadriplegia: A Family's Journey of Survival
Sean’s life took a dramatic turn five years ago when a car accident left him paralyzed from the chest down. In this deeply emotional episode, Sean, along with his children Abigail and Perry, shares their heart-wrenching journey through shock, grief, and ultimately, the power of love and resilience.
As his children saw him in the hospital, unrecognizable and covered in bandages, they were overwhelmed with emotion, but it was through the support of his family and friends that Sean found the strength to fight for his life.
The family’s unwavering bond and moments of laughter helped them overcome their struggles, turning a tragic event into a story of hope and perseverance. This episode is a testament to the unbreakable spirit of a family who refused to give up, with powerful moments, including a special song they all share, that will stay with you long after the episode ends.
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Purchase my book or Audiobook: Why I Survived: How Sharing My Story Helped Me Heal from Dating Abuse, Armed Robbery, Abduction, and Other Forms of Trauma by Jennifer Lee
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The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Char Good.
https://chargood.com/home
Remember you are stronger than you think. Don't believe me, we're about to prove it. Welcome back. This is Jen Lee, creator and host of I Need Blue podcast. Welcome to season three. This is a place where survivors of life events can feel they belong, are loved, understood and my favorite empowered. Sharing your story can become a part of your healing journey. I Need Blue is here to provide you the opportunity. Please note I Need Blue does contain sensitive topics which could be triggering. Please seek help if needed and remember you always come first. I would like to thank Char Goode for composing and performing the introduction music. To find additional information about Char Good, you can visit my website, wwwineedbluenet. There you will find ways to contact me. You will find all of my podcast episodes, as well as valuable resources. I Need Blue Podcast is also found on all of your favorite podcast platforms.
Speaker 1:As you listen, if the message moves, you share the story with friends and family. The more we share, the more we learn, the more we can help. I have three special guests today Sean, his daughter Abigail and son Perry. Five years ago, sean went from being a very active triathlete to surviving a car accident which ultimately left him paralyzed from the chest down. I can't imagine how drastically that can change one's life. I can't imagine how drastically that can change one's life. Sean is here to share his story of what his life was like prior to the accident, what it was like waking up and hearing the news that he was now quadriplegic. Aside from the physical trauma, sean and his children are here to share the initial emotional and mental struggle faced by their family. I can't wait for Sean to share the positive impact his mom had on his fierce fight to survive and turn this tragedy into a positive. You will truly be inspired by their message today. Sean, abigail and Perry. Welcome to the I Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 3:Hello, hello.
Speaker 1:Thank you all for being here. This is so special. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 4:Well, happy to be here.
Speaker 5:Yeah, thanks for having us, no problem.
Speaker 1:So, sean, let's start with you. You and I had some prior conversation and I know on this particular evening some friends had called and were like, hey, you know, let's go out. And like many of us, at times we were like, oh, I really don't feel like going out, but at the end of the day you decided to go and join them. Can you share with us what happened?
Speaker 4:Sure. So, like you said, you know I wasn't planning on going out that night. The funny thing is I had just gone to the nature store and I had bought like a whole bunch of supplements and things like that. So I was getting ready to start my training because I was going to do a full Ironman this year coming up, you know. So I had that stuff in my car and everything is like okay, you know, this is my last two raw out, you know, for the next seven months or however it takes to get, get prepared for for a race can you explain what that iron man is to me, because I am not that athletic at all?
Speaker 4:okay. So an iron man is uh, it is 140 miles total. Wow, pretty much. You swim two miles, you bike what is it? 112 miles and then you run a marathon. At the end that's 21.6 miles. I believe it was two years ago, guys, I had done a half Ironman and that's half the distance of what all of that. What I just said was so it was 70 miles instead of 140 miles and so I was like okay, this is it. I kind of, to be honest, I kind of used doing triathlons as my I guess you could say self-medication. It kept my sanity.
Speaker 4:It kept everything in place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a healthy way, though, to take care of yourself.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, I decided to try to do a healthy way of taking care of that. But, like you said, you know I wasn't planning on going out and decided to go out. I went out, everything was going great and I, you know, even with that said, I said you know what, I'm not gonna drink that much tonight. You know, I don't want to overdo anything like that. So, on my way coming back, um, I actually um, when the accident happened, I went from going on the eastbound lane to the westbound lane, the car flips, and I don't remember anything. I mean, my next memory was going from, I think I said oh crap, oh OS, to waking up and there's this bright light over me and a nurse. I know I was like wow, I didn't know I'm in a hospital, I'm like you know, you know everybody sees the movies and stuff like that and you know they think, oh, you know, it is not like that when it's actually happening to you. And you know I remember the very first thing the nurse had asked me was did I have a DNR? I do not resuscitate and I said no, but I do want to be on it, because at that point in time I didn't want to have to put the burden of me on my family.
Speaker 4:So, pretty much, I was thinking a lot about myself. So I was like, you know, my thing was I had plenty of insurance. I knew that, you know, my family would be able to go on with the insurance and the assets that we did have and that, you know, for the most part I lived a pretty good life. So, you know, I was like, most part I lived a pretty good life. So, you know, I was like yo. You know, hey, this is it, this is the way how he's writing me off. You know that's what I was thinking. This is my ticket and I'm about to hop off this train.
Speaker 1:So did you know at this point, then, that you were paralyzed from the chest down?
Speaker 4:After speaking to the nurse, and then the doctor came in and the doctor was like, can you feel this? And he was touching my legs and I was like no, so I knew that my legs weren't working and I knew that my arms weren't working at that point in time because I could barely, I couldn't move Pretty much. I was on my back and I couldn't move anything. I was on a ventilator so I couldn't talk, you know. So everything was so. Everything was head nods and things like that. And, yeah, it was a very traumatic situation there.
Speaker 1:Was there anxiety as you started to realize you couldn't move your limbs? I have to imagine that would make me nervous. I would start freaking out like this is not normal. What happened.
Speaker 4:I just knew that this was really bad, would just happen, and that dead serious I was. Just pull the plug, I'm done. I mean cause I'm going, I'm. I'm a person that's used to being able to take care of myself and take care of everybody else and, you know, pretty much be self-sufficient. And now you're trying to tell me that I'm going to have to live the rest of my life being dependent on other people and that you know for me that that's like, you know, a nail in the heart.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so it's like, uh, so how you know, where do I go from here and that, and that's that's the reason why I was like, yeah, DNR me, but anyway, I'm not sure when it comes down to the timeline. I'm not sure how many hours, how many days I was just there. I don't even know if the sun was up or the sun was down. People started finally coming in and seeing me and you know I had a lot of. You know I have a good friend that we're golf partners and he came and he saw me every day while I was in the hospital. Little did I know that a couple, you know, once I got out of the hospital and we connected again, he was like. Your accident changed a lot in my life also. Everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. They found out that you had been in the car accident and come to the hospital to see you, because I know for them this had to have changed their life too. I would love to know what that was like for you.
Speaker 3:It literally happened the day that I was traveling back from a mission trip to St Croix. They didn't tell me what happened. So when I finally got back home, my brother called me and he was like hey, I'm picking you up, he picks me up from my school and we end up going to the hospital. We pulled into the hospital. I'm like you know, chris, what are we doing? He was like that was in a serious accident and you know, I need you to be prepared for like the state that he's in right now. It's not good. Denise was just like fresh to me. So I was just like, yeah, I was in an accident. I was like, oh, we got to go see him. Like let's go. So the next thing he goes, he's like Perry, he's like I need you to understand the severity of like the situation. He's really not in good state. But I was still just like let's just go. So we finally just go up into the hospital. And then I finally went into the hospital room where I saw him and, honestly, I was just struck by shock because I didn't know what I was going to see.
Speaker 3:When I walked into that room. He was just in the hospital bed. He was completely bandaged up all the way. He had the tube in his mouth, you know, so he could breathe, and that kind of stuff bandaged up all the way. He had the tube in his mouth, you know, so he could breathe, and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:All I could really see of his body was literally a slit of his eye because the bandages around his head wrapped all around his head, except like his one little eye. I could still barely recognize his eye because his face was just so swollen too. I just was like talking to him. I was like, hey, you're going to be okay, don't worry about us, we're going to be okay. We're going to be okay, don't worry about us, we're going to be okay, we're going to figure this out. Try and stay strong for him. After I finally left the room, that's when, like all the emotions just kind of hit at once I just walked down like the hospital hall and just grabbed the wall, started, you know, crying on the wall and let all my feelings out right there, seeing my father, who I've always seen as, like you know, indestructible, being finally be vulnerable, just opened up my life and was like, hey, sometimes you just gotta slow down, you just gotta just be careful. You know I still love him, Still love him. I'm so proud of where you came.
Speaker 1:And I have to tell the. I have to tell the audience because I don't do video but I'm watching and I'm trying not to cry myself but I'm watching your dad and Abby like tears are coming down and it's such a like. I can't imagine what that moment was like for you and I appreciate you sharing that with us.
Speaker 3:Were you mad, were you like sad or it was weird because, like I said, I went from the mission trip and I had such a fun time on the mission trip Like I was like first I had family and same crew too, so like I knew the area, so it was like I was helping people. I knew that kind of stuff. I had a whole bunch of, I had a good trip with my friends and that kind of stuff. So I went for like emotional high to like the lowest of lows in like a split second. So I was like just mad, yes, because it happened, but at the same time I was just like really scared, because I was just like don't tell me I'm going to lose my dad in my senior year right now. Really, like you know that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Right, so you were a senior in high school. Yeah, this time Okay, thank you, and Abby yeah.
Speaker 5:Perry, when you were talking honestly, like I remember, when you came out of dad's room and you were like distraught.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:You started banging on the walls. You were crying yeah, honestly, I forgot about that up until you just said it again. Mine was different than yours, because Chris woke me up out of my sleep at like 5 am and he just said are you working today? And I'm like, of course I'm working. It's Saturday, you know, and at the time I was working at Panera. He just told me he's like you need to call them and tell them that you're not coming into work today. And I was just like well, what are you talking about? Like, why am I not going?
Speaker 2:into work today.
Speaker 5:And that's when he told me he's like dad's been an accident. At this time they did not know if he was going to make it. So that's what he told me. He's like dad's been in a really bad car accident. They don't know if he's going to make it. We need to get to the hospital right now.
Speaker 5:So that's when me and Chris we drove over to Holmes and they took us up to the surgical wing and mom and DT were both sitting there waiting for us, and I think grandma Sonia was there too, and grandpa Frankie, and I remember they told us we're going to let you guys see him one more time because they didn't know if he was going to wake up from surgery. I remember they brought him out into the surgical waiting area and, dad, you know I love Grey's Anatomy, but no medical show could have prepared me for seeing what you looked like, cause you were completely swollen and just the scratches and bandages all over your body. It's like I couldn't even recognize you and they were just they. Let you stop for a couple minutes.
Speaker 5:I remember I held your hand and told you everything was going to be all right and after a couple minutes they took you away to surgery and we had to sit there and wait and it was probably the scariest time of my life because they just kept saying to us we don't know if he's going to make it, and that's not something you want to hear from the doctors working on your dad, you know. And then eventually they took you out of surgery and they moved us all to the ICU waiting area and they just told us like now we just sit and wait. How long was it? Do you remember?
Speaker 1:Like now, we just sit and wait. How long was it, do you?
Speaker 4:remember I think it was a week and a half because they were trying to get my lungs to not keep pulling up. They kept giving me tracheotomies I guess you'd call it to try to get the fluid out. But once they're able to get the fluid out of my chest, that's when they sent me to Sherpa. And you were not ejected from the vehicle, correct? No, I wasn't ejected. Well, at least, I don't remember being ejected. I had my seatbelt on.
Speaker 5:I know they told us that the paramedics thought you were dead when they got there, like they didn't even think you were alive.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. So can I ask you this question, perry? As a parent myself, I know you said that, the DNR. You just felt like at this point you had gone from such an independent, the caretaker role right of the family and the kids to all of a sudden feeling like you were going to be this inconvenience when you thought about your kids during that time. Was that how you felt too? Was it I don't want them to take care of me? Or was it I need to be there so I can see my kids graduate college and get married, things like that?
Speaker 4:No, it was definitely. I don't want my kids to have to. I didn't want to be a burden on the family. When I finally saw my mom in the hospital and she was looking at me and stuff, and that's when it all hit. It was like I'm still here, there's a reason why I'm still here and I can't have my mom go through having to lose a son. And that's when I started to fight, because before that there was no fighting.
Speaker 1:Did your mom say anything, or was it just her presence?
Speaker 4:It was just her presence. I mean, she didn't say much. When I looked at her face, you know what her face looked like. It was just like I can't put her through this. And then after that, it was a steady fight to not only not letting my mom not having to go through this, but also being able to be here for my family, because it went from okay, like I said, kind of selfish I'm done To. Oh wow, there's still a lot more to live for.
Speaker 4:And, like Perry said, you know his memory would have been his senior year. That was the year that he lost his dad. Here we are, almost five years later. He's graduated from college. I've seen him. My daughter, she's in college. I would have missed all of this. I would have missed all of this, but also what but what? That said, I mean you know I I go back to things happen for a reason, and one of the things when I was in rehab, one of the things I've always kept telling myself was there's a reason why I'm here, there's a reason why I'm alive. So, with that said, you just move forward and you do the best you can. Maybe the reason why you're talking to this person over here is because this is the message that they need to hear.
Speaker 1:And Perry and Abigail. What was it like when you had that moment of realization that dad's going to live?
Speaker 3:Oh man, that was a crazy time. That drive up to Atlanta was crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that drive up to Atlanta was crazy, that drive up to Atlanta was crazy.
Speaker 3:Abby was supposed to stay up with me, clock's out at probably like 12 or 11-ish and we were praying the rest of the ride.
Speaker 4:Hey, you got those good driving genes like that from me.
Speaker 5:All in those strips that we tell.
Speaker 5:Hope so yeah, I think when you woke up in the hospital, like it was such a relief all the doctors just kept saying was we don't know. That was like their catchphrase or something like that's. All that they kept saying is we don't know what's gonna happen, we don't know his deficits, we don't know if he's gonna wake up. We don't know if he does wake up, if he's going to be paralyzed or not. I think when you finally woke up, I felt so much relief because I think the first time I went to go see you, you still hadn't woken up. When I was there, I sang to you you are my sunshine.
Speaker 5:That's another reason why I got that tattoo on my leg, like that song just means so much to me, you know so I know, I know it does so I sang that song and I prayed for you because I was so, I was very angry with what was happening, you know, because you were my dad and I was your little girl and I didn't want to go without you.
Speaker 4:I know, I know and you know what I still have. I don't know if you noticed, but you wrote me a letter when you were younger and you remember that letter. Yeah, I remember and I still have that letter. And I thought about that letter and it's like, wow, I almost let her down. I almost let her down. You're still here, I'm still here. I'm still here, I'm still fighting. I'm still doing a good fight for you guys. But I love you guys. I mean, I love you too. I love you guys.
Speaker 3:I mean I love you too. I love you too when I like first saw you when we went up to shepherds in atlanta, I was just so happy to see you. I because, like mom was telling me that you were doing good up there, I knew you wanted to get out of that hospital in florida.
Speaker 4:I know that I knew you wanted to get out of there. I just wanted to get out of bed once we finally were able to go up there and see you.
Speaker 3:the first thing you wanted to get out of there. I just wanted to get out of bed. Once we finally were able to go up there and see you, the first thing you said to me when you saw me was hey, I'm sorry I crashed your car, because you know we always joke about that being your car.
Speaker 3:Or you won't hand that down to me. And then the moment you said that, like I just kind of chuckled, I was like I don't even care about the car, I'm just happy I still have you. Yeah, yeah, it just makes me happy that you know today you're still fighting every day to, like you know, just live, because I know it's hard being that person who went from that independent to now depending on somebody, and the fact that you have to fight, that fight every day, and the fact that you're kicking its butt right now. I'm so proud of you, dad.
Speaker 4:Thank you, thank you, but you guys are my motivation. You guys are my motivation.
Speaker 1:I have to tell you, being the outsider just observing all this, if I had to put two words together I would say love and laughter have pulled you through this tough time. The love is so evident and you've used laughter and kind of little jokes about driving and whatnot to kind of get you over the humps of the tough times.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, I mean, one of my most favorite. There are things that you always want to do in life, right, and I say, I always wanted to fly in a helicopter Well got that. I always wanted to fly in a private jet well got that too. So you know, I'll tell you we'll do a lot of things. So be careful, what you wish for, you know, because I mean I come out the way I, yeah wanted it to happen you know.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this, because sometimes you know, we look back on life and we a lot of times like, oh my gosh, why did, why did that happen to me? Why did I go through that? And my goal in life is always find the positive behind it. So, to each of you, what now, looking back through this whole experience, what have you taken away?
Speaker 5:positive, I think positively, like my dad really is a motivation. Like my dad has turned our entire house into a gym, you know, and if my dad can work full time and still have the time to do therapy every single day, there's no reason why I can't do the things that I need to do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would say like similar words, like that, seeing him like go through his rehabilitation, accepting the fact of reality, it's just been strong to see him do and it's been motivating and it's motivated me throughout my entire college career and now I'm finally out of it. I know we always joke about it, saying like I was like yo man, I didn't think I was going to be able to ever do it. And you were like always like you know you can do it. You know, just keep your head down and you'll get through it. And that's how I just always felt. That's how you felt about the accident.
Speaker 4:You just got through it, yeah, I mean. Uh, here's another one of my jokes. I had a choice. We all saw, uh, forrest gump.
Speaker 4:I could either be lieutenant dan or be positive one of the two, and I didn't want to I just said, okay, let's, uh, let's take the positive out of all of this and uh, and truthfully, I mean, even, like you know, this one was a perfect example. You know, everybody knows, I have OCD and that I like things being on time and stuff like that. Well, I was running late all this morning, but I can remember that back in the day, if I was running late like that, I'd be all upset and need to do this, need to do that. Running late like that, I'd be all upset and need to do this, need to do that. And pretty much when I was going through it, I was just saying thank you, thank you, because I can do this, even though I'm on a time crunch. I'm trying to move these files over before I had this meeting. I thank God that I'm able to do it and that's it right there. That's what it all comes down to.
Speaker 1:You just have to you know you have to have grace and be thankful. Sean, I want to take a minute to just say how inspiring your story is and how encouraging it is to hear your family, your children, come together and be there for you every step of the way. If you are enjoying this episode and you like to hear other stories similar to this, there is a podcast that I listen to. It's called what Was that Like. The host is Scott Johnson. I want to share with you a quick minute clip.
Speaker 2:What Was that Like is a true story podcast like you've never heard before.
Speaker 4:These are clips from a few past episodes.
Speaker 1:He was just sobbing. He said, Mom, Mom, tell me you're going to be okay.
Speaker 3:I jumped on the hood of the car and I held on and I looked into the garage and he was hanging from the rafters.
Speaker 2:I had somebody standing on my neck. He's better to me dead. I want him dead. Real people in unreal situations. Find it on your favorite podcast app or at whatwasthatlikecom.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening and I hope you will find what Was that Like podcast as enjoyable as I do. Now back to Sean. Can you share with us? It's kind of a twofold question, number one, like really what has that journey been like emotionally and mentally? And then for another family who is maybe going through what you all have gone through, what advice would you give them?
Speaker 4:That's a great question. Emotionally, I have good days, I have bad days, but what you have to do is, on those bad days, you really have to be very deliberate and keep looking at the positive things that have happened since the tragedy.
Speaker 1:Do you write them down so you can read them?
Speaker 4:Everybody tells me I should be writing down this story, but no, I never write them down. And, matter of fact, I was talking to my sister last night and I was telling her I was about to do this podcast today. She's like you know, that's great, that's great and I always. And she's like you can make a lot of money in doing things like that. And my first words out of my mouth after that was, truthfully, yeah, I'm an entrepreneur, I like to make money, but what has been given to me right now, I would never want to monetize it.
Speaker 4:And me just being able to be in the right place at the right time and speak to the right people at the right time, that is my satisfaction with it. That's where I can smile and say, hey, this is why I'm taking this journey, this is why. And then, what I would say to families that are going through things like this you just got to support them. You know you got to support them. There's a reason why Terrible things happen to great people, and that's something a lot of people like oh, you know, well, I was a really good person. Why did this happen to me, whereas you know there's terrible people out there? Things like this doesn't happen to them. So why me? And the reason why is because somebody thought that you were strong enough to go through this and to be able to get that message out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is so true. Those are so true words. I will tell you that. Thank you so much for sharing that. And, abby, what would you tell a family dealing with the same thing, even if it's not a car accident? Just our lives change quickly. They can change quickly in such a short amount of time, and for anybody that is having to deal with that transition, what are words that you would share with them?
Speaker 5:I would say don't give up. There was lots of times that my dad could have gave up and there was lots of times that we could have gave up on him, and we did it. In order to get through this, to get past it, you just have to, you have to have faith in it, that this happened for a reason and it's going to make us stronger in the end.
Speaker 1:And how did you deal with your own emotional and mental questions of why did this happen to my dad? And you know, I imagine at some point you were like why couldn't it have been me? Usually, you know, people feel those types of things. How did you deal with that? Couldn't it have been me? Usually, you know, people feel those types of things.
Speaker 5:How did you deal with that? For a long time I really didn't, you know, like the accident happened and I never really talked about it. It wasn't actually until recently, when I started going to therapy, that I realized that was also something traumatic that happened to me that I needed to talk about and discuss. I actually was talking to my therapist about everything that happened and we're kind of going through it right now actually.
Speaker 1:Good for you to go out and get therapy, and sometimes that third party kind of helps us to dissect our emotions and figure out where to place them. Good for you. And Perry, I'm going to ask you the same two questions what would you say to other families who are going through a transition and how are you dealing? How did you deal and continue to deal with the emotional and mental stuff that goes along with it?
Speaker 3:What I would say is the beginning is always going to be hard. Everybody goes through, you know, a traumatic experience their own way. But the important thing you got to know when you do go through those experiences is just make sure you have a or people around you, that you are loved and that they'll take care of you, just because we all need that in those times. That's exactly how I got through the whole process. I just relied on my friends, my family and, I would honestly say, ever since the accident, my family. We've all gotten a lot closer. That's a blessing, I would say that's come from the accident, trying to find happiness in the small things.
Speaker 1:Yep, absolutely. I love that. So you found support and find happiness in the little things. I think sometimes, especially when we're younger, we think we're invincible, like we're going to live forever we think we're invincible like we're going to live forever. Yeah, yeah, I was in that senior year.
Speaker 3:I was in that senior year living it up.
Speaker 1:You know. Let me ask Abby and Perry Since your dad this happened through a car accident did you ever deal with any fear of driving?
Speaker 5:I didn't drive down that road. For a long time afterwards I didn't go down it, and when me and Perry go to the beach, we actually have to go over that road and every single time we go we're just like.
Speaker 3:This is where it happened, I think about it too Well, we talk about it usually when we go over it. I don't really have fear of driving Me, and my dad have always been drivers.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I didn't have a fear of driving, just going down that road. I didn't want to go down it, unless I absolutely had to.
Speaker 3:I didn't want to go down that road, but recently I hydroplaned and now I'm a little scared of driving in the rain a little bit. I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is In Florida. Everything is flat and so the water just stays there. I noticed that too. I moved from Seattle, where it rains all the time. It's hilly, it's hilly and you get special tires for that, but not in Florida.
Speaker 4:Not in Florida, no.
Speaker 1:Have you two discovered any other triggers within this past five years other than it being hard to drive down that road?
Speaker 3:Black BMW Z4. That's my trigger item.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 4:It's mine also.
Speaker 3:After the accident first happened, I kept seeing z4s but the good thing is that I can't find a lot of them that were exactly like yours, as in like had the one had like little yeah exactly so like that's, that's a little bit, you know it helps a little bit, but yeah, I get triggered every time oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean I I'll be going down the road and I'll see a Z4 coming up and it's like I close my eyes. I just don't want to see a Z4.
Speaker 5:I saw a Z4 literally like days afterwards and started crying like after it happened and then, like for the longest after the accident, I kept seeing Z4s like they were like haunting me, seeing that that also like is like a trigger. It's just like they were like haunting me. Seeing that that also like it's like a trigger. It's just like.
Speaker 1:I understand, sean. Tell us what is your day-to-day routine like.
Speaker 4:It's get up in the morning the nurse gets me up Picking up them beans yes. I have a nurse that comes in, she gets me out of bed, gives me a shower and stuff like that, and then we do some exercises. I do a little bit of floor exercise and things like that with her, and then I go and I do my occupational therapy. I pick up the beans, which I couldn't hey, four years ago, these little things weren't working that great. But they're coming around.
Speaker 3:Yes sir, yes sir.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you pick up beans with your hands.
Speaker 4:That's great yeah, pretty much. After I'm done with that, then I start, I start my work day, fire up the computers and then next, you know, I'm I'm busy for the rest of the day answering emails and writing code. That was the problem with this morning is that my body wasn't primed to, like you, you know, click on all of this stuff. And it was like and I just kept telling myself, okay, yeah, I know it's not primed, but you know what, be glad you could just sit here right now and get it done, and get it done. The rest of my day is pretty much like a regular work day. You know, from my house I'll take a break and I'll go outside and I'll go to my, my gym in the garage and I'll do some exercises and I'll come back in, you know, do some more work and uh, yeah, I pretty much do that all the way up until like six o'clock so you have some upper body strength yeah, I have.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's nothing like I mean. I went from from, uh, what I call being a wet noodle to I'm starting to firm up.
Speaker 1:And can you walk at all Like is there?
Speaker 4:any. I can't walk on my own but with assistance. They have like that rehab place I go to. I do go to a rehab place once a week out in Orlando. It's called Core. Let me just put that out there Great place. And, a matter of fact, this past week they had me on like an elliptical. So I was actually, you know, they had me strapped into an elliptical. I did that for about 45 minutes and I was tired. You know, I actually felt like I was at the gym doing a cardio workout. You know, I actually felt like I was at the gym doing a cardio workout. So yeah, I mean, it's been a long journey with this recovery thing, but I do feel like things are coming back. I do have like a they call it a standing frame and that allows me to stand up. So in the evening times when I want to binge watch stuff, I stand. So as I'm watching Game of Thrones and everything else you know I'm standing.
Speaker 5:You mean as Game of Thrones watches you?
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, truth be told, I have fallen asleep in the game. Don't ask me how you do it, but I do fall asleep in it that's right, ain't nobody gonna tell but at least I'm not out the chair. That's another thing. Um for me, it's hard for me to be in in this chair all day long. So by me doing the exercise with the nurse, she gets me on the floor, I'm on a mat, and things like that. That helps. That helps tremendously, you know, just because I'm not in the chair all day.
Speaker 1:You're such an inspiration.
Speaker 2:Thanks.
Speaker 1:Looking back, what would be the biggest thing? You're like. I wish I could still do that.
Speaker 4:Swing a dark on golf club club. You never know. You never know, maybe one day you will be able to. You know, I was talking to one of my neighbors yesterday. I said you know what, I'm okay with not being able to walk, but just giving my hands back, because by me having my hands, that gives me a little bit more freedom and being able to be more self-sufficient walking. Yeah, that'd be great. But you know what? Just gave my hands back and, uh, so far, god he's, he's, uh, he answered my prayers because before my hands was just let allow me to sit in front of a desk and work. And you know, I am so, so grateful for my job that they stuck with me that's awesome through this whole thing that's awesome you know they allowed me to come back.
Speaker 4:You know, part-time. Once I was able to go back full-time, you know they kept me.
Speaker 1:How is your mom oh able to go back?
Speaker 4:full-time. You know they kept me. How is your mom? She's doing great. Well, she's doing good, but her sister just passed away. So she's actually at a funeral today burying her sister. But my mom, she's doing great. I mean she's loving it because you know, she's got all the grandkids around. You know, a lot of people are like, oh, I have grandkids, my parents, they actually helped raise every one of their grandchildren. I mean they went from them going to Germany and spending time with my brother's kids to living on Long Island and my sister living on Long Island and them helping her kids out. And then finally I was like, oh, I'm moving to florida, so I moved to florida. They come down to visit. And then two years later they're like, oh, we need to move to florida because it's too cold in new york. So they came down and they helped raise perry and abby. My mother would pick up Abby from school and stuff like that and watch the kids and stuff like that. So they definitely had a definitely active role in all of their grandchildren.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 4:They're having an active role in their great-grandchildren also. With my accident, I knew it was really bad when I saw my brother my brother lives in Texas and when I saw him that's where you know it was like, oh, this is really really bad, because he would not be taking this trip from Texas if it wasn't really that bad.
Speaker 1:So, is there anything in particular you want the audience to know?
Speaker 4:I think with. The tragedy, for me at least, is that I've been saying this ever since, you know, I came to grips with what was going on is that I am at the right place at the right time. Right now, I am where I need to be.
Speaker 1:Awesome and Perry, anything for you.
Speaker 3:I would just say you know, keep family close, that's all. You gotta have family.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 5:And Abby, just that everything happens for a reason and that this like, if you are going through something similar to this, like it's happening for a reason.
Speaker 1:So I have an idea. Do we want to end this episode singing the first two lines of you Are my Sunshine?
Speaker 3:Mary, do you want to end?
Speaker 5:this episode singing the first two lines of.
Speaker 1:You Are my Sunshine oh yeah, you are my sunshine, you make me, you make me, which are the great.
Speaker 3:You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Speaker 4:So please take my side.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love it. I've never sang on my podcast. This is the first time. Oh, thank you. That is such a special moment. Thank you for including me on that.
Speaker 3:Thank you, thank you, jen, thank you for having us.
Speaker 1:I love you all, thank you so much for being here and being my guests and thank you for listening today. And thank you to my very special guests, sean Perry and Abby. I am so honored we got to sing together. That was very special. You've made my day. This is Jen Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. You can find all of my episodes on your favorite podcast platforms, as well as my website, wwwineedbluenet. And remember you are stronger than you think. Thank you.
