How Do You Survive a Stalker After a Selfie? - Jen

Stalking. Survival. Awareness.

Jen shares her terrifying experience of being targeted by a stalker after taking a selfie, revealing the emotional impact and the steps she took to protect herself. Tune in for practical safety tips, personal insights, and strategies to help you stay safe and reclaim your peace.

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Transcript

Welcome back. This is Jen Lee, creator and host of the I Need Blue podcast and author of Why I Survived how Sharing My Story Helped Me Heal from Dating Abuse, armed robbery, abduction and other forms of Trauma. Today is going to be a little different. I hadn't taken much time to read stories from my book, and since this is a bonus episode, I thought it might be kind of fun. My book includes four different stories.

00:01:16
The first is my story of surviving dating abuse. The second is the story I'm most known for sharing as a survivor of armed robbery and abduction. The third story, which is what I'm going to share with you today, focuses on situational awareness. And the fourth story ends on a very positive note, one where I learn the difference between our purpose and our intentions. I can't wait to share with you today.

00:01:52
If you are interested in an autographed copy of my book Why I Survived by Jen Lee, you can order your copy at www dot. Why I survived.com. Thank you so much. Let's get started. Story three I survived.

00:02:17
Creepy Guy Situational Awareness. This story begins in April of 2022. I was headed to a work conference. I had been podcasting for about a year by then and was excited to be surrounded by my peers and experts in the field and to take advantage of an incredible networking opportunity. I was going to travel there alone.

00:02:47
May 19 a week before heading to the conference, a mutual acquaintance introduced me to a guy named Matt because he was going to be attending the event too. We had friendly phone chats and planned to meet there. I felt reassured because I knew someone who would be there. Thursday morning. I was packed and headed out the door at 06:00 a.m.

00:03:14
I left my computer at home. There would be no time for emails, just networking and making new friends. I checked into the event and received a Lanyard with my name on it. The energy was buzzing and fun and it was exciting to be there. After lunch, I attended a track that featured female entrepreneurs.

00:03:38
During a break, a man approached me and asked what my podcast was about. I'm a survivor of armed robbery and abduction and started my podcast to create a place where survivors of life events can share their stories. I focus on topics that are uncomfortable to talk about domestic violence, human trafficking, fentanyl, the foster care system, and many more. I partner with local, national and international organizations that provide resources for survivors of trauma. In addition, I put a spotlight on the unique traumas our first responders face.

00:04:20
I replied. I asked him the same question as he spoke. I was listening to him, but I was also observing him. I interviewed people who his words were being drowned out. As I developed a feeling that something wasn't right, my instincts were alerting me to pay attention.

00:04:41
He finished speaking and asked if he could take our picture. Sure, I said. We exchanged business cards and headed off in our own directions. The something isn't feeling right. Still lingering after he walked away, I wanted to focus on learning and having fun, so I dismissed the feeling, telling myself, he's probably a nice guy.

00:05:07
Stop being paranoid. Still, I felt something was kind of creepy. The next day, Friday, I met Matt for lunch in a large conference room while listening to a keynote speaker. It was great to finally meet. After our phone conversations, we enjoyed pizza, chatted and then parted ways, each heading to different tracks.

00:05:35
We plan to meet back up for a Happy Hour event later in the evening. During the afternoon, as I was walking through the conference halls, I started noticing whenever I saw a Creepy Guy from the day before. On occasion, he'd say, Hi, Jen. His presence always set off red flags, and I was beginning to take my feeling more seriously. Matt and I met for the happy hour event, and as we were sitting at a roundtable chatting about our exciting day and all, we'd learned Creepy Guy walked in.

00:06:12
He stopped at the entrance, quickly looked to his right and to his left, and then he looked straight ahead and locked his eyes on me. He headed to our table, pulled the chair out, sat down, looked at me and said, Hi, Jen. I said hi back, but my stomach was churning. There were several tables and empty chairs, yet he sat in front of me at the same table. A minute later, Creepy Guy was up and mingling with others.

00:06:43
I observed Matt, who was watching Creepy Guy speak with two women as they responded to his questions. He was looking these ladies up and down. I looked at Matt and asked him what he thought. Matt agreed there was something not quite right about him. I felt better when Matt confirmed my thoughts and feelings.

00:07:05
I wasn't alone in my judgment. Saturday morning, Matt and I walk the halls of the conference center, burning off some calories from breakfast. We passed Creepy Guy as he headed in the opposite direction. At this point, I walked past him with my head down, not wanting to acknowledge his presence. He watched you the whole time.

00:07:29
As he passed us, Matt said to me I told Matt he creeped me out and that I was going to head home. My husband and I had plans that evening anyway. Since we passed Creepy Guy going the other way, I figured I didn't have to worry about seeing him again. I said goodbye to Matt and walked toward the lobby. The parking garage was underneath the hotel, and it required taking an outdoor elevator, which was located at the back of the hotel.

00:08:00
As I passed the registration desk, I looked to my left and saw a Creepy Guy standing with his back to me. Immediately I wondered how he had walked past us without noticing. My heart beat a little faster as I put my head down and picked up my pace. I made it around a corner that led me to two sets of elevators. Two women joined me as I waited, and the three of us got onto the elevator when it arrived.

00:08:31
As the doors began to close, I let out a deep breath, realizing how nervous that last appearance of Creepy Guy had made me. My phone was in my hand and I looked down at it as the doors started closing. Suddenly I saw feet. It was like watching a horror movie. 1 minute nobody, and the next second, boom.

00:08:56
There were feet. I looked up and my eyes must have looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. Standing there was Creepy Guy pushing open the elevator doors. He was facing us and each arm was pushing the corresponding door open. When the doors were open far enough, he turned sideways and made his way in.

00:09:19
After freeing his backpack, which was momentarily stuck in the doorway by shifting his body to make it fit. There we were in the elevator, creepy Guy in me, separated by the two women in between us. He glared at me and asked, did you have a restful evening, Jen? Pause. Yes, I replied.

00:09:45
I asked him, Are you leaving? He stuttered, as though not expecting a question. I'm going to my car to get water because I'm parched. Everything in me went off. All red flags were raised and flying so viciously in front of me that you would have thought hurricane winds entered the elevator.

00:10:08
We had just left a hotel with free cold water and he was going to his hot car to get water. No, this was not a good situation. I knew I couldn't get off the elevator when the doors opened. I knew I couldn't go anywhere with him. My sense of safety was shaken.

00:10:30
This feeling was all too familiar, as triggers from the robbery a decade ago were entering my mind and body. I had to keep it together. Now was not the time to panic, but what could I do? The elevator doors opened and the women got out. Creepy Guy got out, turned around, and was waiting for me to exit the elevator as well.

00:10:54
I looked down at my phone and said I must go. I forgot something. I didn't move and slowly the doors closed. When I didn't get off the elevator, I heard a loud grunt come from the man. It was a sound of agitation, disappointment, frustration and anger.

00:11:16
The elevator doors closed and I texted Matt to tell him I was on my way back up and needed him to walk me to my car. Once I explained what happened, Matt said he was going to report the man to the venue after he walked me to my car. When we walked through the lobby, Creepy Guy appeared heading our way. My friend pushed me behind a wide pillar so I was hidden. Creepy guy couldn't see me.

00:11:44
Matt watched as the man stopped on the other side of the pillar where I was hiding and checked his phone. This action made me suspect he was tracking me. He turned to the right and headed to the drinking fountain and began drinking. Matt pulled on my shoulder and said, come on, we need to go. We continued onto the familiar path I had taken just minutes before.

00:12:12
With our pace brisk and my heart pounding, I was afraid to look back to see if he was following us. We reached the elevators, pushed the button and waited. The doors opened and we got in. I watched closely, praying I didn't see feet again. When we arrived at the basement, I hopped off first, followed by Matt.

00:12:37
As we headed to my car, each of us looked back to make sure we weren't being followed. We found my car and I loaded my luggage. I couldn't see the elevator, but Matt could see if anyone was getting off it. I was visibly shaken from the encounter. Matt looked over at me and said, I had no idea what it was like for you as a woman to always have to be aware of your surroundings.

00:13:05
His tone was full of concern and empathy. I replied, yes, always with my voice shaking. With no sign of Creepy Guy, I said goodbye to Matt and thanked him for helping me. I got in my car, locked the doors and backed out of my parking spot. As I exited the garage, I could see Matt watching to make sure I was able to safely leave.

00:13:32
I headed home. On the way, I called my husband and told him what happened. My ride home felt long as many thoughts filled my head. I don't want to feel this fear for my safety again. I was stronger now.

00:13:49
I didn't want to cry, but I did want to cry. I should call the police. I don't need to call the police. Let me just try to push this feeling way down and pretend I don't feel scared right now. I'll put a smile on my face and be thankful nothing happened.

00:14:07
I made it home and hugged my husband. We agreed I wouldn't travel alone anymore. As I headed to unpack my suitcase, I told him I needed to forget this had happened. Shortly after, I looked through my phone to turn off any location services. I went through Instagram and Facebook to block him where I could.

00:14:30
I saved his picture in my phone too. I tried to write it off as a bad situation and tell myself that I was fine, I was safe, but by the next night, I wasn't okay. I walked into the living room and told my husband I needed a hug, but that he couldn't ask me any questions. As my husband embraced me, the tears started to flow he asked me what was wrong and I explained that Creepy Guy had really scared me. My husband got upset and I could hear the frustration in his voice as he assured me once again he'd go with me next time he felt helpless as we hugged each other.

00:15:14
My husband encouraged me to report the incident to law enforcement, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Matt did report the incident to the venue, and they said they would include it in the debrief. As my fear started to subside, I began to feel guilt. What if he hurt someone else? And I didn't say anything to prevent it?

00:15:37
I felt like a hypocrite. My goal is to help people. I encourage people to ask for help, and yet I hadn't. It's amazing what emotions and thoughts go through one's head after a traumatic experience. My body was experiencing so many different things that I wasn't able to process much beyond what was happening in the moment.

00:16:02
I finally remembered I should be gentle with myself. Monday, I called the local county sheriff's department. There was no crime committed, but they took the information and provided me with an incident number. I was told to be aware of my surroundings and to call my local sheriff's department if he showed up anywhere I was. It was a positive interaction and I'm glad I called.

00:16:30
I have not seen creepy guy since. The chapter of Creepy Guy is closed. Thank you for listening to story three, and if you'd like to hear three other stories that are just as suspenseful and compelling and raw and vulnerable, you can find my book on Amazon or you can get an autographed copy from my website, Whyisurvived.com Amazon also accepts reviews. Even if you did not purchase the book from Amazon, I appreciate every review. The more reviews you get, the more Amazon will promote your book and give it visibility, the more people we can help.

00:17:18
Again, thank you for listening to this episode. This is Jen Lee, creator and host of I Need Blue Podcast and author of Why I Survived. To hear podcast episodes, go to the website www. Dot. I needblue.

00:17:38
Net to order an autographed copy of Why I Survived. Www dot Why I Survive.