I Need Blue
I turned around to see a masked man pointing a gun at me. It was just the beginning of a series of events, including robbery and abduction, which changed my life forever. I Need Blue, hosted by Jen Lee, is a podcast series featuring lived-experiences from survivors of life events. I NEED BLUE creates space for survivors of trauma to feel they BELONG, are LOVED, UNDERSTOOD and EMPOWERED! I called 9-1-1 and they provided me with life-saving directions to help my customer who was having a medical emergency. Law enforcement rescued us and caught the robber. Our first-responders face unique traumas every day. I NEED BLUE provides space for them too!
I Need Blue
From Struggle to Song: Julie's Journey of Healing and Stepping into Her Calling
Julie is a remarkable individual who has faced numerous challenges in her life with unwavering strength and resilience. From waking up deaf at the age of five to enduring a series of medical conditions and undergoing 24 surgeries, Julie's journey has been marked by perseverance and faith.
Despite these obstacles, Julie has found solace and empowerment in her relationship with God, leaning into His guidance and finding a sense of purpose in her writing and singing talents. Her ability to find humor in the midst of adversity and her unwavering belief in the transformative power of obedience to God's plan are truly inspiring. Julie's story is a testament to the hope and light that can be found even in the darkest of times.
One day, God called Julie and she obediently responded to God's call to use her musical gift to create inspiring songs. She wrote, produced, and shared five songs in six months, one of which, 'Took My Body Back,' is a powerful testament to her journey and a reflection of her ministry. Join us for this riveting journey as we explore the power of resilience, faith, and healing with a woman who has proved it's never too late to become who God wants you to be.
To listen to Julie's music:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUZQrig0BReC0Fe7tohb1sw
Connect with Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ineedbluepodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/needbluepodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp1q8SfA_hEXRJ4EaizlW8Q
Website: https://ineedblue.net/
Purchase my book: Why I Survived: How sharing my story helped me heal from dating abuse, armed robbery, abduction, and other forms of trauma by Jennifer Lee
https://whyisurvived.com/
Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcastsconnect.apple.com/my-podcasts/show/i-need-blue/cf77fdb3-396e-4c1c-82aa-c2c3f6d1eee2/ratings-and-reviews
The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Char Good.
https://chargood.com/home
Remember you are stronger than you think. Don't believe me, we're about to prove it. Welcome back. This is Jen Lee, creator and host of I Need Blue podcast. True Crime to True Life. As a survivor of armed robbery and abduction, I understand the trauma and triggers survivor's experience. Knowing this and through my powerful podcast, I offer survivors a safe place to share their lived experiences. Survivors need blue to feel they belong, they are loved, understood and my favorite empowered. Please note I Need Blue does contain sensitive topics which could be triggering. Please seek help if needed and remember you always come first. I Need Blue episodes can be found on Apple Podcast, spotify and many listening platforms, including my website, wwwineedbluenet. I would like to thank Shar Good, the talented violinist who composed and performed this opening music. You can find information about Shar Good on my website. As always, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:Let's begin today's episode. A genetic hot mess. The first time I spoke with Julie, she laughed as she described herself as this genetic hot mess. I joined in her laughter as I immediately felt her way of dealing with trauma was through humor, and that is all right. Julie then began to describe her family and home life growing up. She related it to the show. Leave it To Beaver Now. If any of you are around my age, you know it was in black and white. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to Google it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, julie's family, their support and love helped her endure a shocking discovery. At age five, she woke up deaf. This began an overwhelming pattern of medical conditions continuing into her teens and adulthood, from ages 27 to 34 years of age, various medical diagnosis led to 24 surgeries. From there, a series of events sculpted her existence. You will learn how she leaned into her relationship with God to help her through. I'm sure God appreciates her humor too. God bless Julie with the gift of writing and singing from a young age. She will be sharing more with us today and I can't wait. The message Julie wants you to take away from her journey is no matter what you are going through, there is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Julie, welcome to the I Need Blue podcast and thank you for being my guest today, and thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2:This is a really really great, great experience. I'm excited.
Speaker 1:I'm excited to have you here as well. I'd like to start this episode asking you a question that maybe you haven't been asked too often. If ever my podcast, I Need Blue. The blue stands for belonging, loving, understanding and empowering. Can you describe the first time you felt empowered?
Speaker 2:Gosh, that is such a wonderful question and it's that's not a question that, you know, people ask very often, or that I think we as people reflect back on, but it was, I think, when I started going through all my surgeries later in life, I was always so scared the night before and I would cry and be hysterical and I would pray, and then it was like maybe the fourth or fifth surgery in and God literally spoke to me and said I've got you. And that's when I first felt empowered, like okay, you know what, if God brings you to it, god gets you through it. But I wasn't afraid anymore and I really started to feel my empowerment in being a daughter of the King. I guess in that moment and knowing that whatever his plan for my life was is that is what it was going to be.
Speaker 1:That is amazing and I appreciate you sharing that with us Really. God said lean into me, and you did. And here you are today, as positive and funny and happy as ever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seriously, I mean it's amazing all that him and I have gone through together and it just makes me really appreciate the small stuff. At a young age I learned to stop and smell the roses, I learned not to sweat the small stuff, not to take things for granted, and it really has changed the last 20 years of my walk, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:You know I picked up when you said stop and smell the roses. That is one of our five senses. And at age five you lost one of our five senses. You woke up deaf. I cannot imagine. Can you share a little bit of that experience with us?
Speaker 2:Sure. So I went to bed hearing and everything was good. And then the next day was Easter and so I went with my parents. We went to my dad's father's house and everybody's talking to me and not responding, and so my grandpa thought I was being rude. And then they discovered that I wasn't hearing. So the next day my mom took me to the doctor and they said literally overnight my adenoids had grown so large they were blocking my inner ear. So that's when we first learned that I was like the bionic woman of growing tissue at the speed of light. And that was the beginning of a really long medical history.
Speaker 1:How long were you without being able to?
Speaker 2:hear. If I remember correctly. I want to say it was maybe seven to 10 days and then they got me into surgery and so they removed the adenoids, put tubes in my ears. Then my ears would reject the tubes. So I had the tubes, I think, seven or eight times before they finally took. Right now, I mean I'm blessed to say that I have 80% of my hearing. I have total hearing in my right ear and the majority of the hearing in my left ear. So it worked. God was good. I mean he's been delivering me since I was five.
Speaker 1:honestly, that's amazing. Can you take me into the mind of a five year old and what you?
Speaker 2:were feeling. I think the biggest emotion that I felt was confusion. I don't remember feeling scared or panic. I think I just couldn't understand why I wasn't hearing. I was watching people's mouths moving and I knew that I once heard voices and I just didn't know why I wasn't hearing them speak in that moment. So yeah, I think for me it was just a total state of confusion as a five year old, versus fear, and maybe that's because the Lord was with me, so I didn't have that fear. I just didn't really understand what was going on.
Speaker 1:I am glad that your hearing is where it is today. I do think that God had something to do with that and that has taken you on an amazing musical journey, which we will get into later.
Speaker 2:Yes, it has indeed.
Speaker 1:Okay, miss Bionic Woman, I love that. I kind of resist. Let's fast forward a little bit, because in the introduction we talked about how ages 27 to 34 is numerous medical diagnosis and surgeries. But that's also when God said lean into me, tell us about that.
Speaker 2:So throughout the course of teenage years and early 20s, there were other medical issues and gallbladder surgeries and tonsillectomies and blood diseases and all that stuff. And he delivered me through them and you just go through them, you survive them and you move forward. But when I was 27 is when all the abdominal surgeries began and I had been living in excruciating pain you know, womanly pain, whatnot. Then I started having pain all the time. I went to a doctor, you know, I think she did x-rays and she said oh, you have stage four endometriosis, we're going to have to do a hysterectomy. Well, I was, you know, I was only 27 and I thought, oh my gosh, you know, I'm going to get another opinion. So I went to another doctor, I brought him my photos and all the reports and whatnot. He scheduled me for like a six hour surgery.
Speaker 2:When I woke up from that surgery, the doctor was literally standing over me with my photos and said whose body is this? Whose pictures are these? And I was in a state of shock and awe because I was like what do you mean? And he said this is not your body. These pictures have no name, no numbers, they're not labeled. This is not your body. I went in and removed a five pound tumor from your uterus that was crushing your reproductive organs. That's why you were in so much pain. You do not have stage four endometriosis and that was really the beginning of.
Speaker 2:I want to say I had surgery every three to four months and a lot of them were scar tissue. This is why I say I'm the bionic woman right From five years old, because I can grow cysts and tumors and scar tissue at the speed of light. What would take you a year to grow, I can do it in six weeks and that is not something to be proud of. So we were in surgery constantly. It seemed I was scared. Every time you get on the table you just don't know if you're going to get off the table, going under anesthetic and like I think it was the fourth surgery and God just knew how scared and upset I was.
Speaker 2:And he just said to me I've got you, I've got this, you're going to be okay. And he just put this piece in, calm over me and I went into surgery the next morning and I didn't cry, I said a prayer, I was making jokes with the surgeon and I was like I hope you got good sleep, I hope you haven't had too much coffee today. You need a steady hand and really that is when I did feel empowered in who I was in the Lord and trusting him and putting my full faith in him that no matter what my life was to be and how it was to be and it was his will I just laid it at his feet and I said whatever today is to bring, thank you, jesus for my life. It made me start appreciating things at a young age that I wasn't appreciating at that time.
Speaker 1:Sure, I have a question for you. I did a previous episode where we talked about trauma buried in our body, or perhaps trauma we experienced at a younger age and maybe we haven't exactly dealt with it yet that can manifest as medical issues. Do you think or did anything happen when you were a little bit younger that maybe it manifested in your body through trauma?
Speaker 2:Wow, it is funny that you should ask that and I never, until you just said it, connected the two. But yes, when I was 14 and you know, ignorance is bliss is great saying for me in my life, because since five years old forward it's been this way. But at 14 I was date, raped by a young man that he was my first boyfriend and I just trusted him. I'm a very trusting person and I just think everybody thinks like me and is innocent and transparent and good, and I learned in that moment not everybody has good intentions, not everybody can be trusted. You know, all the parents were at a Super Bowl party and a bunch of us kids were having our own party in the basement of my house. I let him come upstairs and we were kissing and then he decided it was going to go further and I said, oh my gosh, no, I'm not ready for that. And he decided that, yes, yes, I was, and he raped me at that point.
Speaker 2:I never shared that with my parents because as a 14 year old girl, I know my parents would have said well, why did you let him up in your room? And I was afraid that they might. You know, I guess for lack of better words. I didn't want them to blame me for what happened, because I knew I didn't deserve what happened. I know I didn't want that to happen. I made myself quite clear. He just didn't respect my, my wishes.
Speaker 2:So, yes, perhaps those two things were connected, because it did. It did shape how I structured myself through my teenage years and it made me not be a promiscuous person. That's for sure. I guess you know that experience could go either way and turn somebody you know to looking for love in all the wrong places or doing things for wrong meanings. For me it was like okay, I don't want that to ever happen again, and so I wasn't in a hurry Right. Perhaps that didn't manifest because I buried it, you know, for the most part, and just again moved on like it happened it's over and now we're going to move forward.
Speaker 1:Did you ever tell anyone before this?
Speaker 2:I did tell my mother. I never told my dad because I was daddy's little girl and I just knew it would crush him to the soul. But my mom and I have always been like best friends and very open for communication. So, oh man, I think I was probably in my early 20s when I finally told her what had happened. And she, she cried and she was like I really wish she would have said something then, you know, because I could have helped you through that and she was glad that I told her later than not at all.
Speaker 1:Right, so then you didn't have to quite carry all of that on your own.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it was a big relief to be able to get that out.
Speaker 1:Yes, I completely understand how sometimes when an incident happens like that or or whatever, you can't talk about it right away because you're still trying to process the emotions that you're going through and trying to rationalize it and, like you said, you don't want to be blamed. You know and you knew that I said no and no means no right.
Speaker 2:Yes, and some, you know, some people just don't have that respect and they just do what they want to do I guess you know or act out on what they think is going to bring them some type of satisfaction, right, Now you stated that I suppose a good word was you were conservative when it came to love and sexual relationships, things like that.
Speaker 1:So did you get married?
Speaker 2:I did. I met a man when I was almost 19. We ended up getting married. We had just both of us had just turned 23. And honestly, I knew that I might be setting myself up for trouble, but I was very insecure and he made me feel good enough. Right, I always struggled with weight. I struggled with physical insecurities. I always loved who I was as a person on the inside, but I never felt like I measured up to the you know, the skinny girls, the beautiful girls, the super talented girls. So I probably should not have married him, but I did. I don't regret it.
Speaker 2:I learned a lot Later in the marriage. He became a cheater. He was abusing drugs, he had stolen from me and my family. And it's not that there was any hate because there wasn't. It's just that I knew he wasn't good for me, he wasn't healthy for my life and I knew that he had his own issues that weren't being addressed. We just weren't on the same page. I was growing up and moving forward and he was still kind of stuck at 19 and not moving forward. So once we divorced we kind of cleared the air, but then it's not like we stayed friends and we didn't have communication. He'd call me once a year, you know, just to say hey, and do you think we could get back together and try it again? And I said no, no, I don't think that's a good idea.
Speaker 2:And I ended up single for 15 years in between my first divorce, which was at 30. So we started dating at 18, almost 19, married and then divorced at 30. And then I remarried when I was 45. And even though something really fantastic came out of that marriage, which is now the young lady I call my daughter, that marriage was also quite rough Because, again, I think I was trying to fix the person that I was married to. I thought that maybe I could bring positivity to their life and the girls. And it just doesn't work that way. You know, people have to fix themselves and they have to want it. So that marriage only lasted five years and then we divorced also, and I've been single ever since I dated, which will lead us, you know, to really my testimony story is is the man that I was dating. And then God spoke to me again and I was like, okay, when God speaks and tells you to do something, you need to listen and you better make the right decision. So you know, there's that.
Speaker 1:Did you listen the first time God spoke to you in this scenario?
Speaker 2:Well, he had spoken to me two other times during my dating life and I didn't listen. I was like a child and was like I can't hear you. You know, and if I can be candid, I mean, since we're talking about my story I was never promiscuous because of what happened to me at 14. So I was always very thoughtful with my body and I never just slept with a man to sleep with a man or for fleshly gratitude or to feel good. I would wait until I was in a relationship that I loved, the man gave him my heart, then I would give him my body. And so this is how I would try to justify my actions, right, and my mom would be like Huh, really Does it say that in the Bible? And I was like, mom, be quiet, you know, because I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 2:And so twice the Lord convicted me in relationships that were long term, about Are you going to marry him? And I would be like, no, I don't think so, probably not. And you know God would say like Well, why are we sleeping with him? Then, you know, you look back and you're just like oh, my gosh. But this third time, when God came and he spoke to me. He used the guy I was dating.
Speaker 2:he used his brother in law, who's a minister, and he literally came at me and God was like this is it, this is it. I'm coming after you this time and you have a choice to make me an obedience or him and sin. So what, what is it going to be? And at that time it was a root of awakening, let me tell you. And I knew exactly what I needed to do, and I I did that. So I took my body back at 52 years old. I took my body back in the name of Christ, and now I know not to sleep with someone until I'm married. Good for you. So you're dating now. No, right now I am just.
Speaker 2:I am just really being obedient to the Lord and stepping into my calling. Because of me being disobedient and never closing that circle by sleeping with my boyfriends out of not being or you know, out of not being married, it's like I wasn't able to step into my calling. I have been trying to be a one hit wonder in secular music since I was in my 20s and God was like no ma'am, no ma'am, and no matter how close I would get, the door would shut. And I was like Well, that's okay, you know, it just wasn't. This isn't my time, and what I've learned now is that God was waiting for me to become obedient, so that I could step into my calling, which was making music for him in his time, in his will for his goodness, not my own.
Speaker 1:We don't control timing. I learned that a while ago.
Speaker 2:Oh, amen to that. No matter how much we think we can, we can't.
Speaker 1:No, and I'm like get her done kind of girl. So when you want me to have patience, that's really hard for me sometimes.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am the same and I, you know, I thought I could control things and I thought I was doing a really good job at running my life. And still, I always knew Jesus. I always had relationship with Jesus, whether I went to church or not, he was always a part of my daily life. But I never let him take control. I never became submissive to him and really gave him control of my life until really probably that second divorce was a big growing period for me and then, clearly, last September was that, was it? That was. That was a big, huge step for me, one of the hardest things I'd probably ever had to do. Honestly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I heard the word surrender in church a couple of months ago and it stopped me in my tracks. Sometimes you drift off in church, right, but that that word caught my attention because to me, when you surrender, like you give up control, like that, ooh, jen, give up control. Really. I like to make things happen.
Speaker 1:Yes, but, I realized for me when I started my podcast over two years ago, knowing nothing about podcasting, not listening to podcasts, nothing right. I surrendered in that moment to what God called me to do and it lit a fire in me that still burns and I just took off like running this race, you know, to help people. And, like you, it's evolved. So I wrote a book and now I've been called. I don't want to go back to your three messages you got from God, because I got three messages in 24 hours from three different people. Wow, yeah, and that's what I knew, as much as I had been resisting being a life coach. I surrender to God and I said, all right, I hear you. You gave me gifts. I've have a podcast. I wrote a book. Now it's time that I give this. I Call it. There's healing and sharing. Not everyone wants to be on a podcast, not everyone wants to write a book, but there are people who just want to talk and have somebody listen and that's what I am meant to do.
Speaker 2:Oh, and that is beautiful. That is such a beautiful gift, because the one thing that I've learned is you can't have an effect on other people's lives. If you don't tell your story, it will never be heard. So how can you help someone else in any type of way If you're not out there sharing your story, whatever that looks like, and what God has done to deliver you, you know, bring you forward in your calling, in what he wanted you to do, with all of your experience trials, tribulations and Really just become fruitful for him.
Speaker 1:Yes, abundance comes in many different forms. Because you don't get rich from podcasting. I've been reminded that you are full of abundance, like, like. You are blessed and the blessings you know are going to keep coming and I just keep fulfilling my purpose and what I am supposed to do and I love that. God gave you this gift of writing music and and singing music and I know in our initial phone conversation you told me how fast you wrote one of your songs. Can you share that with our listeners?
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh. I would love to, because this is really where even me myself, looking back, kind of saw how God works and In his timing, and that I needed to become obedient. So when God came after me last September and said take your body back and stop the addiction, I didn't consider my boyfriend an addiction. You know, people normally think that addiction is drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling is something of that nature, food even. But really it was my boyfriend. He lived in Florida, so we were in two different states, but every morning I used to talk to God and pray and sing with him and Every night I would pray to God and say good night. Well, when I was dating this man, every morning it was going to my phone and seeing his messages. Every night it was going to my phone and saying good night to this man and you know he was kind of. I was letting him come in between me and God in our relationship. So when God spoke to me the last time I had to, I literally broke off the relationship of two and a half years With my boyfriend. I had to explain to him why and that God spoke. I had to apologize to him because obviously we were having sex right and he was so confused and it was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had to have, because I had to apologize to him for not setting the best example of what a Christian woman was really to look like. I knew he wouldn't understand, I knew it was going to be hurtful, but I had to do what I had to do for me and being obedient to Jesus. So, luckily, him and I are still friends now. It took a minute for us to get past that portion. But after I had done that, broken up with him and and became obedient to God and just thanked him in that moment for coming after me for the third time, I Went to his brother-in-law and I thanked him and I said I just want to thank you for being the vessel that God used In that moment to say what you said to me, because I knew it was Jesus. And Then Holy Spirit spoke to me independently as well and in that visit with that gentleman he said to me God showed me his calling for you and he gave you a song and he gave you a book and Now that you're obedient, you can step into your calling. And this this man did not know that I Was in music and that I was a lyricist and that I would love to sing. So I thought that was really really interesting.
Speaker 2:After that visit, I had been broken. I could not write a song to save my soul. I would sit down and just the words wouldn't come. If I started one, I couldn't finish it. You know how that goes. I Ended up renting a hotel room one night. I just needed I don't know space, I just needed to be alone with God and I shut off all my electronics. I Rented a hotel room on the lake.
Speaker 2:I Just saying worship songs, listened to worship music, took a hot bath, prayed and I got in my Bible and I just prayed on it and I said, lord, you told this man that my calling was to write a song and then a book about my testimony. I Need you to help me to write a song because I'm broken. So I was reading any fusions and I came across the line that started my mind going and that was it. And so that was the first song that I wrote and that was my testimony. Song called took my body back. I Was so happy. I finished. You know, I wrote the song and then I was still in the Bible and reading and just praising God in that moment, because I felt his presence. And then I put this song in my Bible and for six weeks did nothing with it because I didn't know what to do with it. And Then the Holy Spirit was like so who's heard your song? And I was like, um, let me check. No one. And you know he gives you that auction. Like, okay, well, we didn't write it for nothing, so let's do something about that.
Speaker 2:Fast forward, a couple months, a new family came to our church and they happened to sit at the table in front of me and God was like go introduce yourself. And he's always pushing me out of my comfort zone, because normally I just like to sit there in mind my business. And so I was like, okay, whatever, jesus, so I get up and I go introduce myself to this family. We just kind of became fast friends, you know well. Then, in a month later, I see the husband to his name is Jesse. I see him up on stage playing guitar and I was like, oh my gosh, he plays guitar, I'm gonna show him my song. So I approached him and I said so, god gave me a song, I Wrote one, but I don't play any instruments. I was wondering if you might like to Read my song and see if Holy Spirit gives you a beat and maybe we can collaborate. And he was like, oh my gosh, I would love this. He called me that same night.
Speaker 2:So it's Sunday night at like 9 30 pm he he texted me and said what's the earliest I can call you tomorrow? And I said oh man, is the song not good, is it? Can you not use it? And he was like no, actually the opposite. This is amazing. Your writing skills are amazing. Is this your testimony? Is this your story? And I said yes. And he said can I call you now? And I said yes.
Speaker 2:So long conversation and story short. He said I would love to get you into studio. I was like what he said? Well, you know, I'm a music producer. I said no, sir, I did not. I knew nothing about you, I just introduced myself to you. We say hi every Sunday. I saw you played guitar and that was it. And he said no, I would really love to get you into studio. We need to turn this song into, or turn this story into, a song. And I said, okay, so while we're working. And here's where the six minute song comes in. Okay, this is a great story.
Speaker 2:So while we're working on took my body back, which is my testimony song the music producer one night it's like eight o'clock at night sends me a clip of music and all he said was do you like this? And I said, well, I don't know, let me listen, you know. So I take a listen and literally within 17 beats I started chirping like a bird and I wrote a song in six minutes to this music and it just made me so happy and it just felt so light and airy and the words just came to me. And then when I was done, god was like there's your hit. And I was like what I thought took my body back was gonna be my hit, you know.
Speaker 2:So I go back to the music producer and I was like, oh my gosh, I loved it so much. I just wrote a song. He was like, no, you didn't. I said oh, yes, sir, I sure did. And he was like that music is not for you. That music was for someone in New York. I just wanted to know, did you like it? And I said, no, I think that music was for me, because me and Jesus just wrote a song in six minutes. He said well, I'll call the guy in New York tomorrow because he hasn't paid for it. I'll find out what's the story with the music in him. He called me the next day. The gentleman that he made the music for His lyricist couldn't find words. She could not put a song to his music, so they gave me the song to use.
Speaker 1:Great story, Julie. Thank you again for being my guest today. I wanna take a quick 30 second rate and play a clip of your music before we come back and continue this conversation. I'm so excited. I can't wait to share this with the audience. Thank you for listening. We'll be back in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2:Crazy. Only God can do this. And so ever since then, we've literally produced five songs in six months. I have four more songs written. They just have to be produced.
Speaker 2:So I tell people I give God all the glory because I was broken. I could not write any songs until I became obedient and took my body back and stepped into my calling of what God wanted me to be. And he said that I'm gonna do a ministry to go around to people of all ages about staying pure and keeping your body a pure temple, and not just to lay down to anybody because you think that's what they want or that's what's gonna make them love you, or that's what's gonna make them stay with you, because that's not the right person. And I don't care if you're male or female. You need to stay true to God and your temple and wait until you're married before you engage in that type of intimacy. So I'm excited. I'm excited for what God has for me.
Speaker 2:I'm a late learner, you know, so I'm coming into all of this a little late in life, but I think it has more impact to people, young and old, right to know my story, and it's never too late to step into your calling. There's always hope, no matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, no matter who you were. We are not our past. We're not victims of our circumstances and what we've been through.
Speaker 2:You know, jen, honestly, what I've learned through my entire life of just surviving life in general and all kinds of different things that were thrown at me from a young age is we have a choice to either be an overcomer or to be a victim, and you have a choice. You can stay a victim and stay exactly where the devil wants you to be, or you can choose to be an overcomer and let God deliver you and grow strong from it and use what's happened to you for the betterment of others, so that people know you're not alone. You're not the only one that has gone through this. There is hope. Things do get better. You can make changes and you can, you know, step into your calling. I don't care if you're 12, 32, 52 or 71. It's never too late to become who God wants us to be.
Speaker 1:So true, it is never too late. As soon as you said that, I got all excited over here. I was like preach it girl. I was like because that is so true and you know you said so many really impactful things, but I wrote down on my paper the word connectors, because so many times we feel like we're connectors, we're community connectors, whatever that may be, the ultimate connector is God.
Speaker 2:Oh, amen.
Speaker 1:He brings people into our path at the right time for the right reasons, and from there we're led to wherever we need to be, and the beautiful thing about that, though, is God brings us into other people's lives to help them as well, and we may not even realize the impact that we're having on them, but we're making a difference, and your music and your writing many people relate to music, whether it be the words, whether it be the melody, and you have the talent for that. God gave you that gift. You have the ability to share that healing message with the world.
Speaker 2:Yes, and when you say that it is God's gift, it truly was, because I've never been trained. I've never been trained to write, I've never been trained to sing. I've never had lessons or anything like that. It's just something that I enjoyed doing from a really young age. My mom was like you never wanted to play with toys. You were either singing or making up dances or writing. At eight or nine years old, I started writing poetry. Then, later in my teenage years, I started turning those into songs.
Speaker 2:When you just look back at life and how things transpire later in life, it's crazy, because you don't see it when it's happening.
Speaker 2:You're just in survival mode.
Speaker 2:I think most of us live life in survival mode every day and you just do what you have to do and you don't really look at that. It's a gift that you have and that you can help others just by being you and sharing your stories and God bridging us and let me say this God also removes people from your life for a reason too. So as much as he brings people into our lives or us into their lives, I have noticed in this journey he has removed some people from my life as well, because they weren't fruitful to my journey and my growth In the Bible. I can't quote it. I should have wrote the verse down, but it's like God will prune your rose bush. If the flowers on your rose bush are dying and they're not serving a good purpose to the vine, god will prune that plant back so that it can grow new, more beautiful blooms that are going to be proactive to your life and your journey. And that's what he has been doing for me and it's been just so amazing and I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. What song or part of a song are you going to share with us?
Speaker 2:I would love to share my actual testimony song, which is called Took my Body Back, and that's really what started this whole journey and this is what the ministry is going to be about. And thank you for sharing this song too, by the way, and if that leads people to want to go listen to my other songs, that's great. But really this one carries the biggest message of what God did for me and what I had to do to close that circle of obedience and step into my calling.
Speaker 1:And where can they find your music?
Speaker 2:YouTube, spotify, apple Music, I think, amazon Music most every platform and then there's one music video and that's on YouTube also.
Speaker 1:What channel do you prefer they find you on, and then, if you have the website or whatever, can you say that for me?
Speaker 2:I would say it's YouTube and you just search me by my name. So my channel is just Julie Holder H-O-L-D-E-R. I am just honored to be on your podcast and to be able to share my story, because sometimes we look at our lives and we don't think we have a story. We always make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others and their stories, whether it be great or tragic or sad or successful or not. You know it's a lie from the devil that makes us compare ourselves to other people, and you've really given me the chance to look back on my life, to know that I had a story and now God is bringing it to fulfillment, you know, letting me live out my calling and my dream, and I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm living out a lifelong dream that I never gave up on because I just thought, well, it's in God's timing, not mine. I just never put the two and two together that it was for his good and his will and his music.
Speaker 2:When we talked the first time, I was so emotional just reflecting back on what my life really looked like for the last 52 and now 53 years. I just turned 53 on Saturday. Happy birthday, thank you. So I am just so grateful that I met you. I am grateful for our friend that bridged us together. I've listened to your podcasts and some of the amazing stories that were told. You are truly doing God's work and letting people be heard and sharing so that other people can heal and grow and just know that there's always hope and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And to go back to something you said, if we look at ourselves as plants, sometimes we have to prune those dead leaves right so new can grow. And really dealing with our trauma or sharing our story, or whatever it is it may be, is kind of letting go of that dead. That's prohibiting our beautiful plant, the beautiful flowers, from truly blossoming.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and I mean, who knew? You don't know what you don't know until you know, you know. Just growing and letting go is such an experience. It's happiness, it's joy, it's pure joy and not being, you know, bound by chains anymore. Once you break those chains and you do surrender to God, your life is limitless.
Speaker 1:So true, julie, beautiful lady, not a genetic hot mess. You are a beautiful lady, a gift from God. I am so blessed that our paths have crossed and I'm thankful to our friend for connecting us. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for having the courage to come and share. Thank you for being my guest on the I Need Blue podcast. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:This is the first podcast and you are the best podcaster I've ever met.
Speaker 1:I didn't pay her to say that.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just overjoyed and I'm just so grateful to have met you and have this experience. And you know what? I hope that something, even if it's one thing that you and I discussed today, touches someone else, because life is hard but it can be beautiful. You just have to look for the beauty and surrender and God will bring you to it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I see beauty in you.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:You're welcome Back at you, thank you All right. Thank you for listening today. This is Jennifer Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. You can find all of my episodes and everything you ever needed to learn about I Need Blue on my website, wwwineedbluenet. There you'll find information about my guests, information about my book and life coaching sessions that are available as well. Remember you are stronger than you think. Until next time, онь you.