I Need Blue
I turned around to see a masked man pointing a gun at me. It was just the beginning of a series of events, including robbery and abduction, which changed my life forever. I Need Blue, hosted by Jen Lee, is a podcast series featuring lived-experiences from survivors of life events. I NEED BLUE creates space for survivors of trauma to feel they BELONG, are LOVED, UNDERSTOOD and EMPOWERED! I called 9-1-1 and they provided me with life-saving directions to help my customer who was having a medical emergency. Law enforcement rescued us and caught the robber. Our first-responders face unique traumas every day. I NEED BLUE provides space for them too!
I Need Blue
Vital: Rising Beyond Childhood Wounds: Exploring Authenticity, Resilience, and Transformative Healing
Vital Germaine is a resilient survivor of childhood trauma, former Cirque du Soleil performer, author, artist, and humanitarian.
During this episode, we dive into the profound exploration of healing from past scars and disrupting generational cycles. Our discussion highlights the extraordinary impact of empathy in facing guilt and shame, sharing intimate experiences with mental health, and challenging societal stigma.
We navigate the complexities of living authentically and liberating ourselves from societal norms. Vital illuminates the potency of authenticity in conquering imposter syndrome.
In the episode's final segment, we unravel the empowering essence of books and creativity, delving into Vitals’ favorite literary works that revolve around themes of hope and authenticity.
The resounding message echoes: your past is not a determinant of your identity, and within you resides a strength far more significant than you may perceive.
To learn about Vital: https://www.vitalgermaine.com/
Connect with Jen:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ineedbluepodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/needbluepodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp1q8SfA_hEXRJ4EaizlW8Q
Website: https://ineedblue.net/
The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Char Good.
https://chargood.com/home
Welcome to the I Need Blue podcast. This is Shar Good, and I am honored to introduce Jennifer Lee, author, life coach and host of today's show on the I Need Blue podcast. Thank you for that warm introduction, shar, and welcome to I Need Blue, the podcast about to take you on an extraordinary journey where profound narratives come to life, one captivating episode at a time. I'm your host, jennifer Lee, and I founded this podcast because I know there is healing and sharing. Each story you will hear shared on this podcast is a testament to our collective strength, innate ability to transform in the incredible power of healing. Please remember you are never alone. Please visit and share my website with those seeking connection and inspiration wwwineedbluenet. Thank you, shar Good, for composing and performing the introduction medley for I Need Blue. You can find information about Shar on her website, wwwshargoodcom.
Speaker 1:Before starting today's episode, I must provide a trigger warning. I Need Blue features graphic themes, including, but not limited to, violence, abuse and murder, and may not be suitable for all listeners. Some episodes also contain themes that may be triggering. Please take care of yourself and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Now let's get started with today's story. I'm excited to tell you about today's guest. Let me give you a little backstory.
Speaker 1:My husband and I were shopping and while browsing, the shop owner comes over and comments on my husband and I's matching outfits. It was September and my husband and I had just finished participating in a walk for Alzheimer's awareness. This friendly comment then leads to 20 minutes of chatter, learning about each other. I shared my mission with her and as I spoke, she handed me this book. You should read this book, she said. It was called Pink is the Color of Empathy, by Vitelle Germain. As an empath, I found the title intriguing. I bought the book and was anxious to start reading. I finished it in two days. I only stopped because work called.
Speaker 1:I emailed Morgana, the store owner, proclaiming how great this book was. She said you should interview him, meaning Vitelle. I wrote back. Can you make the connection? I would be honored. She said. This is how Vitelle and I connected. Vitelle is also a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse. He is here to share his story and let you know you are empowered to make choices. His mission is to destigmatize trauma, shame, guilt and other emotions that lie deep inside a survivor. His journey is inspiring and I can't wait for him to share it with you. Vitelle, I'm honored to welcome you to the I Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 2:Hi, jennifer, the owner is actually mine. Thank you for having me on. Thank you for the work you do and the empowerment you provide for people. Thank you.
Speaker 1:You're welcome. I've had my own journey as well. It's really great to be a part of their journey, their steps along the way. In the introduction we talked about choices into adulthood. Before we started recording, I was thinking to myself how, as children, we're not granted those same choices, we don't have the capacity, we can't take care of ourselves. I start a lot of my interviews talking about our childhood. If it's okay, I would like to start there with you, because it is amazing your growth and your process and your career, all of that. It instills a lot of hope. I am excited for you to share it.
Speaker 2:Let's dive right in. Yes, childhood is where the majority, if not all, wounds and trauma begins, because we're our most vulnerable and we have to trust people to take care of us. Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who, through their own trauma, their own crises, are unable to take care of us. Then, as adults, we spend the rest of our lives trying to fix, trying to heal. We feel shame, we feel guilt. There are ways to minimize those sentiments.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:I'm looking trying to find a quote about. It's easier to raise healthy children than it is to fix broken adults. That makes sense. We're living in a world where we're constantly trying to fix broken adults. When I use the word broken, it's not in a negative way in the sense that we are all damaged and broken. We all experience traumas and setbacks. It's not this negative burden of oh, I'm broken, woe is me. There are parts of us that have been fractured, that have been wounded, but we can put those pieces back together again. We can rebuild and actually live healthy adult lives, regardless of the childhood trauma.
Speaker 1:Absolutely In awareness and working through that, you also have the ability to stop this from going from generation to generation to generation.
Speaker 2:Those who are trying to break that generational curse. It is not easy, it is simple but it's not easy. I pat off to anybody out there fighting their inner demons because it takes great courage, great self-awareness, emotional intelligence to understand. Here's what I'm dealing with. But you spoke about choices. Now in my adult life, I'm going to make the choices to either separate myself from that trauma, to not be stigmatized for the rest of my life moving forward. They're courageous choices, but we are all empowered to make those choices. Sometimes the choice seems impossible.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite quotes about choice and attitude in mindset, victor Franco, holocaust survivor If you haven't read his book Man's Search for Meaning very powerful, but his quote about attitude is this the last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. So powerful I will be honest and vulnerable. There have been times in my life where my choices I've not been proud, I have not made the right choices, through moments of vulnerability, weakness. But it's okay. It is okay to and I do this in air parentheses to fail and make poor choices. It's okay because it gives us an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become better.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I was in a study actually not long ago and one of the questions was what do you control? And one of the answers was your attitude. Yeah, and it makes all the difference in the world. Going back then to your childhood, what feelings that maybe you didn't even recognize during that time because, again, you were young. But into adulthood then, what feelings did you deal with based upon what happened to you and if you are comfortable sharing a little detail of what happened to you, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Well. It's definitely not a Disney story in the sense that it wasn't all smiles and happiness. The only thing I can say, maybe, about the Disney is that the ending defied the odds, so I can claim it's somewhat of a happier ending than predicted you mentioned something about. As children, we're not necessarily aware of what we're going through, so, as a child, I wasn't feeling. Oh, woe is me.
Speaker 2:There's a level of innocence and naivete. Children are incredibly resilient and so, regardless of all these things, yes, deep down inside there's a feeling of shame and guilt. My mother's an alcoholic. My father is sexually abusive. None of these people are in my journey.
Speaker 2:I'm being raised in a group home it's like an orphanage and so, yes, there is an element of guilt. You come home knowing that there's not going to be anybody there to give you a hug and kiss you and let you know that it's going to be OK, help you with your homework, encourage you, because you fell flat on your face at school, you were bullied. You're aware of those things, but you just get on with life, and some of the things that I've learned now in adulthood is reconnecting with the inner child. And when I say reconnecting with the inner child, even though it was wounded. We are our most resilient and our most. We are connected to our inner genius in our childhood and that's why we're resilient, because our imagined I thrived through imagination. It was imagination that helped me deny this horrific reality of degradation, shame, guilt, neglect, abuse. Imagination, resilience, innocence, hope those were the feelings that kept me going.
Speaker 1:Can I ask what you imagined?
Speaker 2:This now gets a bit poetic, in the sense that I just imagine all the beautiful things like in this cold, sterile environment of people being paid to take care of me and attempted stabbings and attempted suicides and fistfights. And I just kept dreaming that one day, even though my mother was an alcoholic and dysfunctional, I loved her dearly. I know she loved me in the way that she could, and so there was this hope that you know what, mom, one day I'm going to get us out of this. One day I'm going to buy you that dream car. I'm going to be your Elvis Presley. One day I'm going to live this dream of becoming the English or the Belgian Pele, a famous soccer player. All these things were aspirations. Call it a sense of purpose, call it a sense of drive, but I clung to those things because they were my salvation. That's how I got through it the power of imagination.
Speaker 1:Yes, and would you agree that to a certain degree, imagination is almost like manifestation?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Now here's the caveat Imagination is both beautiful and powerful, but imagination can also take us down dark, negative paths. So it's not just imagination, it's leveraging imagination for our own gain and our benefit, and then, through that personal gain, we can then bring value to the rest of the world. Because here's something I've overcome, here's something I can share. I can imagine a better world, and if I'm passionate about my imagination, I will then take action to make those things become a reality. And we all have this power.
Speaker 1:OK, so great point, because whenever I think of manifestation, I think of obviously all of these positive things. But you're so right, without it being balanced, it can kind of go into that dark side. Thank you for saying that. I never really had thought about that. So I love learning from people.
Speaker 2:To quickly continue about imagination and, by the way, I've never associated it with manifestation. But now that you've planted that seed, yes, imagination is a form of manifestation, because while you're in a state of imagination, the subconscious doesn't know the difference. And so while I'm in a state of imagination and I'm living this beautiful life, my energy, my vibration is actually elevating because my subconscious believes that that's the reality. And so if you believe in the law of attraction which I partially believe in, and not completely but partially Is that if I'm in a state of high vibration and I imagine and I'm feeling those things, I then Probably, potentially, will start attracting. So go out there, start leveraging your imagination, envision those beautiful things you want in life.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and at the end of this I'm going to ask you what you're still envisioning. So don't let me forget. Actually, I'm going to write it down, I take no, so I don't forget.
Speaker 2:Well played, well played.
Speaker 1:So you had mentioned that you were kind of in a home, almost like maybe a foster home. Did you age out of that then?
Speaker 2:I don't know if I age out of it. This is going to go against traditional motivational strategies in the sense that it's still a part of me, it's my story, it's my journey, and so it's like a scar. The scar is still there. The objective is to stop the scar from bleeding and stop the scar from preventing you from becoming whatever it is that you want to. So those things are still me. It's still a part of me. I probably still carry energetically that trauma, but the purpose of my life has been to negate. It's not going to stop me, and there are times I'm going to be honest there are times it does prevent me. There are times when I fall backwards and I feel that I'm regressing and I feel so weak and vulnerable and I feel all those things. I am human. As humans, we should allow ourselves to feel these emotions, but it's to not let that situation, that energy, those memories, that trauma define who I am today, who I can become tomorrow.
Speaker 1:And your journey. I know we had talked in the introduction about you being in Cirque du Soleil. Oh my gosh, I guess. How old were you? How did you get into that?
Speaker 2:These are things I talk about in some of my books. I'll give you sort of the short version without giving it away too much. How did I get into Cirque du Soleil? Life is strange. There are some serendipity, but we create serendipity.
Speaker 2:I'm living in New York at the time. I've left Belgium, pursuing again the imagination. I imagined that I was going to go to America and I was going to be on these great stages. At the time, the imagination, the dream, was I'm going to perform in a Michael Jackson music video Janet Jackson, you name it. That was the goal. But in pursuing that specific goal, I maybe didn't achieve that goal, but it set me on a trajectory where it opened doors that would have maybe never been apparent. So I'm living in New York, right in Festus studio, the cliche, struggling artist. But every day I get out of bed, motivated, enthusiastic, because I'm focusing on this dream, on this goal.
Speaker 2:And then, randomly at the time they were not well known randomly, a friend says Vitelle, I think there's this French company called Cirque du Soleil. They couldn't pronounce it. They're looking for ethnic acrobats. Sounds like you've been on it. Well, I'm not really a gymnast. And who is this weird, strange circus? I don't want to clean up elephant dung and roommate with a bearded lady. That's not what I came to America for. And sometimes instinctually, I woke up that morning and something just said go to that, silly, so do so. Late audition just do it, why not? And the rest is history. So sometimes in life we just going to take risks. Listen to your intuition, knows something told me, go and do it.
Speaker 1:Wow and correct me, if I'm wrong, seven years trapeze artist, five years in Cirque du Soleil. Technically trapeze it was called bungee trapeze.
Speaker 2:That was my main thing, but I also did other disciplines. They invest heavily. They they see potential. This is another thing about Cirque that I implement in my own life is that we have potential. They saw I was far from the finished article, I was a very rough street dancer acrobat but they saw potential. They invested in me and as they invested in me, I also invested in me going back to the inner child during my childhood, in me going back to the inner child.
Speaker 2:During that audition I was intimidated because I was this nobody from a small town. I have a British accent, but I lived in a small town in Belgium for 10 years. There's me in this from this little town in New York, new York City. Ballet, joffrey Ballet, alvin Ailey, you name it. And me and I was intimidated. There was a little voice inside me saying why not go for it? And my inner child came out. I played with reckless abandon and because of playfully, being free, I was being authentic Cirque du Soleil. This is me. I can't do that, but I can be this and they loved it. We are afraid to show our true, authentic self, fear of judgment. I didn't care. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life because I didn't care. This is me and this is why I am. This is why I'm not.
Speaker 1:That's great, and a lot of people talk about imposter syndrome. You did not have that. You are okay showing up as yourself. Here's what I got Be an authentic, because people who have the imposter syndrome like they're afraid, because they're afraid of all those things, of being judged and everything else. So, yeah, good for you.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you brought up the imposter syndrome because I challenge that concept. There's truth to it, but there's value to it too. Everything is a question of how you leverage it. So, romantically, after the audition Vitao, the inner child, authentic I got the gig. But then I was overwhelmed when I went to Montreal and then imposter syndrome truly kicked in. Because now I was with all these Olympic gymnasts, national champions, and I felt imposter syndrome. But here's the flip side of imposter syndrome. I can be overwhelmed, intimidated by imposter syndrome, or I can leverage it and say, well, I don't like this feeling, so let me work harder, let me get rid of this feeling. So I belong here. To add on that, I hope that everybody, in any job position that they have, they always feel an element of imposter syndrome, because that's the fuel to take you to the next level if you leverage it in a positive way.
Speaker 1:I will tell you. I had no idea what that was. Last December I did an interview with somebody and she was talking about how she dealt with imposter syndrome and trying to release her book and everything and I had to ask her what it was. This journey, my podcast journey, was like a little fire and I just went with it and wherever it went is where it went, and I didn't worry about any of those things, like I didn't look at failure because it was just learning steps along the way. You know. And there was something you said earlier about goals. Your goal to go to New York was to be on a Michael Jackson video or Janet Jackson like backup dancer, whatever, but you didn't reach that goal. But it led you down a different path. And I'm saying this because the other day somebody was like what are your goals for 2024? And I said I don't have any.
Speaker 1:I said, and that doesn't mean that I don't have thoughts- yes but I said I don't have this quote goal because I don't want to put myself in this box, because then I'm going to miss opportunities that might present itself, and so that's kind of how I look at that.
Speaker 2:And I love your perspective. A couple of things to add on. That, if you'll allow me, is for those people out there some people don't have goals and objectives, and that is perfectly fine. Don't feel this pressure to not live authentically. If you are perfectly happy and no discredit to anybody working at Walmart but if you're working at the cash register at Walmart and you're happy, stay calm and carry on. You're doing great, you are happy, you found a sense of peace and that's maybe more important than pursuing this ultimate goal. But for me, having a goal was the the fuel to reach my North Star. Now to your point in having a goal. Don't be blinded by the scenery as you go down that road, because there might be things along that journey that you didn't consider and oh, who knew? Have a goal, be focused, but don't be blinded.
Speaker 1:I like that. You put that very well.
Speaker 2:But you planted that seed.
Speaker 1:I do like planting. There's something about playing with earth. You know all the dirt and everything that is. It's very healthy. I like that. You just said something as well about, say, for example, somebody working at Walmart. And you're right, if that's their passion, do it. It's a reminder that it's not for us to judge. Everybody has a story and that person that is saying hi to you when you walk in Walmart he might have lost his wife a year ago and he just needs to get out and feel like he's giving back to the community. We never know. So don't judge. Don't judge that right.
Speaker 2:I couldn't have put that better, because that's one of my key components. The word empathy is we are so quick to judge and condemn. There are two types of judgment. I can judge in the sense that I make an observation and I come to a conclusion, or there's the judgment where I condemn you and, yes, we go to Walmart, we look at people and we sometimes look down on them. We don't know their story and if we could judge people less, we would make the world a lot safer for everybody. So thank you for bringing that point up, because I think, especially right now, we are so disconnected in this modern environment and everybody is judging and we comment on social media and we become very courageous and we become borderline rude and very degrading because we're judging. Currently a war going on, we judge and we condemn everything before trying to understand the humanitarian side of things. So thank you for bringing that up. It's very dear to me.
Speaker 1:Oh good, it was just something that I felt, I guess, while you were speaking and so I wanted to. I wrote it down and then I wanted to come back and share that with you. But I love that you brought up empathy and I think it's a great time we can segue into that and talk about your book, because all of those I think really go into your mission of destigmatizing the guilt and the shame. I think empathy is also understanding and allowing yourself to feel those emotions and giving yourself permission to let them go.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely. We are programmed in life to be insensitive. We can't feel certain emotions. Well, you shouldn't feel angry. Well, why can't I feel angry? If you want to get spiritual, I'm a spirit having a human experience, and part of that human experience are the emotions and things get me angry, and there are days that I cry and there are days that I want to yell, and that's okay. But to your point is, allow the experience of the emotion, but let it pass through you, don't let the emotion become you. And through empathy, we would again going back to judgment.
Speaker 2:If somebody gets angry, it means that they hurt, right? So if we dig deeper than the initial reaction, that person is hurt, which means that something has happened to them or something that they love has been violated and they are protecting that entity and anger is the most immediate response. But the thing is we all feel angry. Sometimes it's on the road rage, we all feel it. But, yeah, when somebody else feels it, we point them out as villains. Well, look in the mirror. You've been angry before, so try to understand why this person might be angry before you condemn them.
Speaker 1:You know, I did an episode with a lady not long ago and she is trained and has studied in how our emotions, if we have not dealt with them healthily, they can manifest into different types of illnesses. Did you experience any of that in your life before? Maybe you realized oh, this is why I feel yucky.
Speaker 2:I did, and it's taken me late in life to truly connect, process, face and understand my own demons and my own self-judgment. So we judge others but we judge ourselves and we condemn ourselves. And it was all stem going back to the beginning of the conversation, the trauma, the stigma of being neglected, abused, and I felt shame and guilt and sometimes, through the imagination, the poetry of optimism and motivation, we live in a sense of denial Because as long as I was focused on my goal and my dream, I wasn't facing the ugliness that had happened and we suppress it. We suppress it and then over time we can no longer suppress it and then it erupts. It's got to come out, it's going to have an impact at some point and my breaking point happened about seven years ago. Now, again, with all the poetry and the fanfare of Sogdus Alley, there is a very tragic, dramatic twist in my story. But my story isn't over and I'm recovering. It also was triggered by a relationship with several narcissists in my life. So be aware of your environment, who you allow into your life, because they will either magnify your trauma or they will help you heal. Don't lean on them as a crutch. They're not meant to heal you, but it does take a village to heal wounds. We need people in our life to help us process.
Speaker 2:And so I was going through a lot of tragedy break up with this narcissist relationship. My career was falling apart, I was about to lose my house. I'd lost three dogs in the space of three months. Everything just fell apart and it just simply magnified all the insecurities, the self loathing, the fear, the doubt that I'd had as a child, and I got to the point where I no longer wanted to live. And again, the shame that I had to deal with. What is wrong with you, vitell? You're living this American dream and yet you've got such little gratitude for life. What is wrong with you? And then I started judging myself even more and beating myself up even more. And, having navigated that want of ending my life, I still struggle with gratitude. There are still days that I get down, but I learn to face my demons, to do the work, the dark shadow work, because on the other side is beauty.
Speaker 2:I did actually try to take my life. I actually slip my wrists in pure desperation, not because I wanted to die. I wanted the suffering, the pain, the hurt to end and it was the only way that I could imagine to end, and I know there are a lot of people out there. Mental health has become this Massive talking point, but we still judge People who are in a situation of wanting to take their lives apart. The reason why they do, why I did, is because I felt well, who can I turn to? Who's not gonna judge me, make me feel even worse than what I really feel.
Speaker 2:I didn't feel safe, so I self isolated because I wasn't gonna allow the world to condemn me and judge me even more. It takes a village, it takes empathy, it takes understanding, and if we just a little bit of empathy that you might share with a friend today, you don't even know this, but your kind words, your, your acts of support might save their life. That's all it can take To save a life and on my journey to recovery, that's what gave me the power there, what they were one or two people who didn't judge me and gave me the hope and the strength to fight myself out of this dark hole. You can be that person. You can change your life.
Speaker 1:Number one I'm glad you are here, thank you. Number two is I'm glad that those people were brought into your life and helped you through that. I do believe people come into our life At the right time, at the right place, when they're supposed to. It doesn't mean we necessarily realize it right away. Sometimes their purpose for coming to us is revealed a little bit later on. But nonetheless I'm glad that they you know we're part of your life and got you to where you are today. You said a lot of fabulous things in the end that all go Into your mission of trying to destigmatize all of the negative emotions that go along with surviving life experiences. I say cuz. Trauma is not defined by by one person's experience. You know trauma comes in several different forms and everybody has a story. How are you gauging your impact when it comes to your mission?
Speaker 2:Oh, what a question, because the most immediate way that we gauge our impact is social media. I got some out of likes who I feel great about that post. Oh my god, I didn't get any likes. That sucks. I have no value. That's the journey, the modern journey of bringing value to the world, engaging our self worth. Unfortunately, social media is the immediate gauge, but we've got to train ourselves to continually go deeper. Because, let's say, I post something and I only get five likes, but one of those likes was somebody whose life I changed and saved. I may never know that, but deep down I have to tell myself that's the possibility that this one post will be the differentiator for somebody, and that's what keeps me going completely understand.
Speaker 1:That's me as well. I challenge my comfort zone when I do public speaking. That's how I describe. But I do it because I know that there is at least one person in that audience that needs to hear my message and that it'll help them somewhere along in their journey. And usually sometimes they come up to me after. Sometimes it's an email, sometimes it's six months later, it doesn't really matter. I, like you, I'm not looking for that gratification like. I just want to know that that it has helped someone, even one person, you know.
Speaker 2:Even person, and I tell you this. I've been now following you on social media. I see the impact. Your messaging is very powerful and life changing. So keep doing what you're doing, because the world needs people like you being this courageous, being this vulnerable, bringing value. It's needed, thank you thank you so much.
Speaker 1:You're gonna put tears in my eyes. I am just doing what I am supposed to be doing and I know that.
Speaker 2:For a lot of people, that's the challenge you know what you need to do and you're doing it, and some people are still lost, trying to find that meaning. And again, with the work that we do, we may not know it, but sometimes, through people observing us, we help them find their sense of purpose, and we will never know about it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely agree with that as well and, like you, I am excited about what the future holds. I'm not in a box, I'm just like, okay, where is this gonna go? Like I know that there's more out there for me and another different way that I can Impact and help people, so that's always fun, having that excitement behind us. Do you see or manifest, like we talked about earlier, where you would like to be or where you think your journey is going to go?
Speaker 2:I have a vision, a mission, and it's it's changed over the years. When I was younger, the vision, the dream, was something concrete, something that I could see. Like I said, I'm going to moonwalk with michael jackson. It was very clear on mtv. Now the mission is not a visual, it's not a concrete, tangible thing. It's a feeling. There is a certain feeling about my life that I want to have, and I can break down some of those elements.
Speaker 2:The feeling is a sense of peace and harmony. That's one thing in a piece the sense of Bringing value, knowing that I'm helping people. So what does that look like? Well, is that a dollar amount? No, it's knowing. It's the feeling that I help this person. I'm a romantic. It's the feeling of being emotionally, mentally safe with somebody. It's the feeling of being able to boldly you mentioned the comfort zone in the box. It's the feeling of I dare to live outside of this box. I dare to live authentically, I dare to reveal my demons because I own my story. That, for me, is the vision to live freely. It's not a dollar amount, it's not a house with a picket fence, it's not the rolls royce, it's not a million dollar bank account. It's a feeling of yes, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, I wrote, started writing another book, and one of the things that I said in it was that it's harder to color outside the lines. And the reason I say that is in school you got a when you colored inside the lines, right, yes, so that's why I'm like it's so much harder to get yourself out of that. I have to be perfect, I have to get a. I gotta stay inside the lines. No, you don't.
Speaker 2:No, you do not, you do not know, and it's. But it's one of the hardest things to inspire people to do is be you, express yourself. And the strange thing is we wear a mask to fit in with the group, but it's not our true group, because this mask is not a true reflection of who I am, and so we get caught up in living a fake life to please people. Now there's a painful part of this journey, in living authentically, is that as you evolve and as you grow and as you step out of your box and you call outside the lines, people are gonna be offended. What do you do in painting outside the lines? How dare you? That's not how we do things here.
Speaker 2:But if you continue being authentic and continue painting and drawing outside the lines, you will attract manifestation. You will attract, you will show the people who are looking for you. Oh, he's one of us. He also doesn't paint within the lines. Oh, thank you. And then you attract your true, authentic tribe. But that gap in between losing the old, inauthentic tribe and gaining the new tribe is incredibly lonely yes but persevere, continue being you and I'm a romantic.
Speaker 2:at the end of that dark tunnel will be the light and you will find your authentic tribe.
Speaker 1:So this is gonna blow your mind. This is another thing I say is you be the light at the end of your tunnel?
Speaker 2:Boom right there. Yes, yes, yes I love my head one.
Speaker 1:A lot of things pop in my head.
Speaker 2:I love that you know what this quote has been recorded. You can go back in and put it in parentheses. It's powerful, beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and even think about that visually. Think about that moment you've gone through that tunnel and you see that bright light Like oh there's, you know. And then you realize it's actually you staring back at you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I try to be the light for myself, but also for others. So, yes, that light that I see at the end of the tunnel, I'm a conduit for that light and hopefully I can reflect it back into the world.
Speaker 1:You are.
Speaker 2:Thank you. How's that you?
Speaker 1:Let's take a minute to talk a little bit about the different ways that you're doing it in, like your books, because I read and I don't honestly really like to read. I like to write more than I like to read.
Speaker 2:So, with, with, with everything that I've said, I'm now going to judge and condemn you.
Speaker 1:So you got me when I sat down and I couldn't wait to pick it back up. I was like, boy, this is good, Like this is really good and it touched me and it was relatable and I just I wanted to share it. So definitely you have several books. Share a couple of your favorites and why they are.
Speaker 2:My first book, flying Without a Net. That's the one that I'm most proud of because it was my first attempt. It took me eight years, from page to publishing. Artist's journey of rejection, self doubt, but it was the one where I learned the power of vulnerability and how my trauma could help others. So then now it's no longer my trauma because I've used it, I've learned from it and I've grown Right. So that was the beautiful thing about it. It became a best seller, which was I was very honored about that. Flying Without a Net this is the journey about defying the odds, running away with Cirque du Soleil, and it talks a little bit about life in Cirque du Soleil. And then, many years later, like five, six, seven, eight years later, I wrote.
Speaker 2:My most recent book is called Think Like an Artist, which taps on what we just talked about being outside of the box and living authentically and being courageous and taking risks, and failure is okay and look at things from a different perspective, because if you change your perspective, your life changes. So that's Think Like an Artist. It has nothing to do with being an artist. It's about the mindset of creativity, which is problem solving, which is identifying opportunity, which is connecting to your true self. The artist is raw in their expression. They are honest. So that's part of what Think Like an Artist talks about.
Speaker 2:And then the one where I've probably revealed my biggest shame is. Pink is the color of empathy, which I talk about emotional and mental health, mine in particular. They're all empowerment books in different ways. The empathy one is I truly want to use my story to save save lives. That's my one. And Think Like an Artist is just about empowerment. Go out there, be yourself, be your best self, make a million dollars if that's your thing. So they're my three favorite personal favorite books for different reasons. Now, within all, I've now written seven books. Within the seven books, there is a common theme and, like hope is a common thread, expression and authenticity are common threads. Ultimately, it's about be a decent human being. If it's through your creativity, bring value to the world. If it's through your empathy, bring value to the world. If it's through overcoming your demons and helping others. Be a good human being. Be open minded to not judge and condemn others for being different. Have empathy. Open your heart.
Speaker 1:Yes, what do you like to do for?
Speaker 2:fun. Tennis is one of my favorite pastimes. I love tennis. I try and play as often as I can because I'm athletic, my background is athleticism. There's an element of competition I do like to be competitive but it's also just in terms of wellness. Physical activity stimulates endorphins, so it's part of my therapy. So there's tennis. I love to paint Painting as a creative and I do separate being creative and being an artist.
Speaker 2:They're not the same thing. They overlap but they're not the same thing. So for me, my artistry, my expression, it's literally is therapy, because it's a form of meditation. When I paint, I can release all my emotions.
Speaker 2:And again, going back to the topic of anger, let's say I'm angry and I'm having a bad day. It's a lot healthier for me to take it out on my canvas than it is to take it out on people that are close to me, who I love. But because they're close to me, they become my punching bag and that's not healthy. So you know what? If I'm going to be angry, I'm going to throw paint at the canvas, and I'm going to. I don't literally insult the canvas, but I can take it out on the canvas. I feel better about myself, the energy has been dispersed. Nobody has been harmed.
Speaker 2:The other thing about me in my art is it allows me to connect with me. So this is the man I'm going to recommend and suggest to people is to do something artistic. It doesn't matter what the outcome is. Express yourself, release your emotions and then, if it looks horrible, throw it out. It doesn't matter. In society we allow our emotions to build up and we don't often have healthy escapes. Find healthy escapes. For me, it's art. It can be hiking, it can be tennis. Identify what you need to do to release your pain, frustrations, hurt, anger.
Speaker 1:I think that's great. I think that's a great message.
Speaker 2:This conversation has been raw, organic. We've gone left, we've gone right, but we went to important places and I love how you guided me through this. So thank you again for being a great host, allowing me to share my experiences, my story, and again for the work that you do and the lives that you change. So thank you, it's been an absolute honor.
Speaker 1:Don't thank you. I always say my podcast would not exist if it was not for the courage of my guests to come forward and be like, yeah, I'll be on your podcast. So thank you, you are very much a part of my journey.
Speaker 2:And I can't wait to experience it as a listener.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Well, the exciting news is I am actually going to have you be my first episode of my fourth season. Yay, I always start my year with something very special, and I think your message is really important and a great one to start the new year.
Speaker 2:Thank you, jennifer, it's been a pleasure.
Speaker 1:You're so welcome. Thank you for listening. This is Jennifer Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. You can find my episodes and anything and everything you ever needed to know about I Need Blue on my website, wwwineedbluenet. And remember you are stronger than you think. Until next time.