I Need Blue
I Need Blue holds space for survivors to speak truth, reclaim power, and rise. These stories are lived. They carry scars and strength, pain and rebuilding, and the steady reminder that nobody heals alone. I survived, too, and this space was born to help you feel seen, supported, and guided toward real resources and real hope.
I Need Blue
Yvonne: Honoring Britney’s Legacy, A Life Lived Fearlessly
In this heartfelt episode, Yvonne, founder of the Britney Lee Foundation, opens up about the profound loss of her daughter Britney, who tragically passed in a car accident at just 17.
Britney, a compassionate and wise young woman, inspired those around her with a spirit as bright as a sunflower. Though her sudden death left an irreplaceable void, Yvonne turned her grief into action by founding the Britney Lee Foundation to honor Britney's legacy and spark change. Through initiatives like the Lee’s Lucky Duck Race and partnerships with local nonprofits, Yvonne advocates for safer roads and offers a space for healing and community support.
As Britney’s motto, #LIVEFEARLESSLEE lives on, Yvonne shares her journey of mourning, navigating grief with her husband, and finding strength in Britney’s memory. This episode is a tribute to love, resilience, and the lasting impact of a life lived fearlessly.
As featured in the episode:
Britney Lee Foundation - https://britneylee.org/
Graceway Village - https://gracewayvillage.com/
Grace Packs - https://gracepacks.org/
St Lucie PAL program - https://pslpal.com/
Connect with Jen:
I Need Blue now has a new home at The Healing in Sharing! Visit thehealinginsharing.com to explore Round Chair Conversations, all relevant I Need Blue content, and ways to support the mission of sharing stories that inspire hope and resilience.
By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing.
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Apple Podcasts: Listen & Subscribe
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheHealingInSharing11
Memoir: Why I Survived, by Jennifer Lee on Amazon
The background music is written, performed and produced exclusively by Char Good.
https://chargood.com/home
Everyone has a story. They just don't always have a place to share it. Welcome to I Need Blue, the podcast about to take you on an extraordinary journey where profound narratives come to life, one captivating episode at a time. I'm your host, jennifer Lee, and I founded this podcast because I know there is healing and sharing. Each story you will hear shared on this podcast is a testament to our collective strength, innate ability to transform in the incredible power of healing. Please remember you are never alone. Please visit and share my website with those seeking connection and inspiration wwwineedbluenet. Thank you, char Good, for composing and performing the introduction medley for I Need Blue. You can find information about Char on her website, wwwchargoodcom.
Speaker 1:Before starting today's episode, I must provide a trigger warning. I Need Blue features graphic themes including, but not limited to, violence, abuse and murder, and may not be suitable for all listeners. Please take care of yourself and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Now let's get started with today's story. I was at a networking event and a lady was handing out little rubber duckies with a card tied to them. The front of the card read Lee's Lucky Duck Race and it shared event details. On the back read Brittany Lee Foundation. I brought a duck home and immediately researched the Brittany Lee Foundation. I knew I needed to talk to my guest today, yvonne Brittany's mother, who had started the Brittany Lee Foundation.
Speaker 1:On February 6, 2018, yvonne's daughter was killed in a head-on collision. The details of the crash are chilling. Yvonne lost her daughter and her daughter's best friend. Today, we honor Brittany and share Yvonne's journey through grief, advocacy, change and the nagging feeling that Brittany's death occurred to cause change and that maybe there is more change to come. Yvonne, I'm honored you accepted my invitation and that maybe there is more change to come. Yvonne, I'm honored you accepted my invitation and welcome to the I Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you. It's always so powerful hearing the words come from somebody else's mouth it is a little different.
Speaker 1:Does it evoke a different type of emotion? When you hear that? I have found that and I also found that when I send people the file to listen to before it goes live, that it even touches them in a different way. Sometimes I say be prepared for the emotional stream that's going to come with listening to it. But yeah, thank you for allowing me to be here and shed some light on this. Let's talk a little bit about Brittany and how she was as a child, and I know a big symbol you have for her is the sunflower and how all of that coordinates into her life and your mission. So I have two beautiful step-sons.
Speaker 2:They were six and one when I met my husband, so they're now 36 and 30 years old, and so I just wanted a beautiful little girl to dress up in dresses, and I just wanted my little sparkly princess. And yeah, that didn't happen. I got this feisty little tomboy who I would put the sparkly dresses on, but they'd come in and she'd come in the house covered in mud. So she was just a beautiful, rambunctious, vibrant little girl who had no fear. She had zero fear of anything, and so that's where the tagline from Brittany Lee Foundation comes is hashtag live fearlessly.
Speaker 2:Because Brittany had no fear and no matter what situation she was in, she would just pull her bootstraps up and just conquer that situation, no matter what it was, believe it or not. She, in her 17 years of life, has given me strength and told me to get through tough situations and everything, because she was just an old soul in such a young body. When the sunflower comes in, she just always loved the sunflower. You could find one in the middle of the field, and there it is just standing, tall and beautiful. Or you can find them in a field with many swaying in the middle of the field, and there it is just standing tall and beautiful, or you can find them in a field with many you know swaying in the sun at the same time and always turning to the sun for strength. And she always just looked for the positive in everything. She just had it figured out at 17 of what life was all about.
Speaker 1:What a beautiful visual with the sunflower. Thank you, thank you. There is strength in one and there's strength as a whole group, and one of the things you had shared with me earlier is that she stuck up for people who needed help.
Speaker 2:But if you always go on the side of what is right in your heart and your mind and your soul, you'll go to bed happy at night, that you'll be happy with the decisions that you make, and that you can't change people, no matter what situation she was in. If she saw a kid being bullied or if she saw somebody sitting alone at a lunch table, she saw somebody struggling, she would stop whatever it was she was doing to go help that person. She really made people feel loved. She made them feel appreciated. She made them feel like they were her best friend and honestly, I don't even know who her best friend was.
Speaker 2:Or is it to this day because she made such an impact on these people's lives, a lot of teenagers in today's society especially. You know the cliques and you know you've got all. You can't talk to these people or these people or these people, but she had all walks of life in her life. She had the popular kids, the unpopular kids. She had the horse kids, she had the skateboarding kids, she had the surfing kids. She had all of these different kids that were her friends and she treated each and every one of them like her best friend.
Speaker 1:You know I'm sitting here listening and I have a message come through. Gosh, it's emotional for me. Brandy wants you to know that, like those kids who were sitting alone at that table, feeling alone, that in your moments of sadness and feeling lost and alone, that she was sitting right there with you, she was sitting right there with you. So I just want you, yeah, I want you to know that. Okay, I hope so. Oh, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt. There's no hope there. It is actual. Yeah, absolutely. If she shares my best friend, yep, always by your side, no doubt, and you are her best friend. She had lots of friends, but very connected to you. Can you tell us, then, what occurred in February? Sure?
Speaker 2:I'm originally from New England. I was working down here in the substance abuse field for many years and the need for substance abuse treatment was at an all-time high in New England. I ended up going back and forth from Florida to New Hampshire and I opened up a substance abuse treatment center on January 15th 2018. So I'd spend a lot of the weeks up there and then I'd come home on the weekends or try to do long weekends five days and stuff like that. February 6th, and we had just been open for a couple of weeks and we were just getting busy, and she had called me at 2.37 in the afternoon on FaceTime. I was sitting at my desk at work and I answered and I said you know what got to call you back. I'm in the middle of something. I love you. And she's like, okay, mom. And she just hung up the phone.
Speaker 2:Later on that evening I was talking to my husband. I was back at my mom's house. I stayed at my mom's when I was up there. So my mom was in the kitchen just puttering and I was in the bedroom talking to my husband and I was like, okay, I have to. You know, take a shower. After I shower, I'm going to give Brittany a call, you know, because I'd be cuddled in my bed and just talk to Brittany on FaceTime and everything. So I get out of the shower and I try calling Brittany no answer. So I was like, oh, that's weird. I try calling my husband no answer. Because Brittany always knew when mama calls you answer the phone, like no matter what you're doing, when mama calls you answer the phone. So I tried calling her, I tried calling my husband, I tried calling Santia, her best friend, I tried calling all of them and nothing, nobody's picking up the phone.
Speaker 2:I tried calling at that time my stepson Tyler. He was living with us. I call him, nothing, no answer. And I'm like, okay, what is going on here? And so I just kind of started spiraling. If you want to say, because nobody's talking to me, you get a feeling that you know something's not right. So it just started sitting with me and it started sitting with me and this was going on, for gosh, I want to say two hours, you know, hour and a half, two hours couldn't get a hold of anybody. And so finally I, you know, talking to my mom and she's like, oh, you know, you're okay, you know nothing's wrong. This, that the other thing.
Speaker 2:I tried calling my sister and I don't remember the details of that conversation. I just remember being stressed out when I had talked to her and I believe she had already known, I believe she already knew, but she did not tell me. I can't remember that piece, it's all kind of a little blurry. So finally my phone rang and it was my husband and he just said you have to get home. And I said is she hurt, is she OK? What happened? And so he said Yvonne, you need to get home. And I said what? I can't say the word he's like. You know, we lost her. And so I just said Santia too, and he said, yes, santia too. I just at that moment I just completely blacked out. I don't remember. So I pretty much don't remember.
Speaker 2:From that moment to, family members flew me down and I remember landing in West Palm Beach the next morning and I remember seeing my husband at the end of the tarmac there at the West Palm Beach airport and just remember falling into his arms and so between the time I found out to that next morning seeing him, I really don't remember much. I remember, unfortunately, breaking a lot of things in my mom's house. I guess I did that, but it's all a blur, I don't remember much of that. And then once I found my husband, todd, and we connected, it was like just everything I started coming to, if that makes sense, like I started being able to start remembering things and things like that and I started being able to focus more, kind of. Once I saw him there were family members that drove down to the airport with him and so we were on our way home and my brother was driving and he took a back road and so I was like where are you going?
Speaker 2:And he's like you know, we're not going by the accident site. The accident site is a stone's throw from my house. It's on Okeechobee Road and I live probably three minute drive from it. So I said no, you're to go by the accident site. And so they said you know, we don't think you should go by there. I said either you bring me now or I get home and I get in my car. I walk down myself. Either way I'm going.
Speaker 2:So we ended up stopping there and at the time that we stopped there there were a bunch of kids just starting to get there to grieve together in the middle of Okeechobee Highway. It's a four-lane divided highway with a medium in the middle, and so there was just a handful of kids getting there to grieve and we sat for a little bit. We did our grieving process ourself and we sat there and then I came home and I went in my daughter's room, my husband and I, and we got in her bed for three days pretty much until the services. I don't remember people coming and going at the house. I'm very fortunate that I have an amazing family that swooped in and they took care of the services. They took care of pretty much everything.
Speaker 2:I made important decisions when it was time to make a decision when it came to things for Brittany, for the services. So I did make some decisions, but I was very, very fortunate that I had a family that was here for me and allowed me to just sit in my husband's space with him and just grieve together. They took care of food. They took care of people coming, people visiting. It was just now hearing the stories of how much hubbub was in my home at the time and I was allowed to be private in the bedroom with my husband. She was two of us in Brittany's room and they gave me that and that's a beautiful thing. They allowed me that time with my husband. Then the services came, and so that's when I kind of blacked out again during the services and everything. So on February 7th and February 8th they had a beautiful vigil at the fairgrounds for the girls. All the friends got together and they had a beautiful slideshow. One of Brittany's friends she sang a beautiful song, temporary Home, which was Brittany's favorite song, which has a whole meaning behind that too, the song. That was actually a beautiful, beautiful night. And then, three weeks later, I had to pull it together and go back to work. So I had to fly back up north and I pulled it together, ended up closing the treatment center in 2020, two years later.
Speaker 2:It wasn't for a lack of trying, it wasn't for a lack of business. It wasn't for a lack of that. It was the constant repetition of the PTSD of being in my mom's house when it happened, getting on that plane and flying into West Palm Beach and doing that same route over and over and over again. That, to me, was more traumatic than the accident scene itself was. Replaying that whole time over and over and, over and over again that, to me, was more traumatic than the accident scene itself was replaying that whole time over and over and over and over again. So sitting in that office, my office at the treatment center, for the last time I spoke to her like, sitting in that chair at that desk, that was just torture, that was absolute, complete torture. So I just decided one day I can't do it, I'm done, I need to start healing, because it wasn't letting me heal Not that there is ever a time that I'm going to heal and be 100%. Every time I'd go, it would just push me right back into that tragic moment, in that tragic time. So I just walked away from it. I said I'm done, walked away.
Speaker 2:That's a life-learning lesson in all of this is, no matter what situation you're in, if it's not comfortable, if it doesn't make you feel safe, if it doesn't make you feel loved, if it doesn't make you feel happy, then just stop it and get out. That's one thing that I have learned from all of this, and that goes for the people that I surround myself with. That goes for any part of my life. If it doesn't bring my soul, my heart, joy, happiness, I just stop it, right then. And there.
Speaker 1:Good for you, it's having the boundary and self-advocating for yourself.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You know the grieving process. Everybody talks about the five stages and all of that stuff. You can go through those five stages in an hour. You can go through them in a year. You can not go through any of them. It's just a roller coaster. So, through a grieving process when losing a child, you have to do whatever you can to literally get out of bed that day. So when you get out of bed that day, you've made it for the day. No matter what you accomplish in your daytime, whether it's going to Publix and grabbing something for dinner, or whether it's running a high-powered company or whatever it is, as long as you get out of bed that day, you've conquered the day after losing a child. And that's a feeling that I've talked to a lot of other moms and parents about losing kids and if we just do that, we're conquering the day. So we're getting out of bed and we're conquering.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you look at your phone, waiting for her to call All the time.
Speaker 2:All the time. I would just look down the driveway. I just wait for her to come home. She had horses, so we live out, you know, in the country, in a couple acres, and I look through the backyard waiting to see her walk up with her horse.
Speaker 2:I haven't accepted it. I have not accepted it. It's not real. I'm also very spiritual though, so it it's not real. I'm also very spiritual though, so it's definitely pushed me into the spiritual journey that I've always had faith before.
Speaker 2:But that's kind of the world I live in right now, and anybody that knows me knows that when I am in my spiritual state and my spiritual world, like I truly believe, she's sitting across me in that chair over there with her arms, you know, crossed in front of me and her legs crossed, just staring at me, you know saying either oh go, mom, or mom, stop talking about that. You talk about that all the time. I truly, truly honest to God, believe in the signs. I believe that there is an afterlife and that we are going to be together. I believe I was put on this earth to be her mom and I don't necessarily believe it's my mission I'm supposed to be carrying out. I believe it's hers. There's a reason for all of us to be here, and my reason is to be Brittany's mom, and I truly believe that in my heart and soul.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and she admires your courage. Oh, my goodness, yeah, courage. I want to ask you if you're comfortable sharing the details of what occurred, because I know in our previous conversation you felt that the details of what happened may be actually a mission that you are supposed to go into. You're kind of figuring out where that plays into it, if it does.
Speaker 2:I truly believe it does in some way shape or form. The circumstances around the tragedy are somewhat unbelievable. It wasn't just a normal accident. It wasn't just a man having a heart attack or anything like that. It wasn't just a car losing control. It wasn't texting and driving. It was a 99-year-old man driving his RV the wrong way with no headlights. So if you dissect each part of that, there's so many different things in that that was wrong. There were so many different things that were wrong in it. So to comprehend a 99-year-old man driving this massive RV with no headlights, you can't comprehend that. You don't know well, how did this happen? How was this allowed? It took a while after it to get through.
Speaker 2:You know a lot of the anger and a lot of everything. His family members none of them ever reached out to apologize. Not one of them ever said they were sorry. There was nothing. Pretty much in my mind, they didn't care. You know they definitely didn't care.
Speaker 2:I've decided that there's so many parts of that to dissect. There's a 99-year-old man driving who should never have been driving, and there's this massive RV that this 99 year old is driving. Together, those are just a recipe for disaster. So in my mind. I sit and I think which is the worst of the two? Is it the elderly driving? He lied to the state of Michigan. He got his license back by lying to the state of Michigan. He lied to his family members, the medical field, you know. You can go pick and choose your doctors you want to go to and you can provide what documents you want to provide to get your license and things like that. So that's what he did. He went to a doctor to get the information he needed to get his license back and the information that he provided was not true. A lot of it was all lies. So do I go after the elderly driving and try to put more restrictions on elderly driving, or do I look at these massive RVs and say what is a 99-year-old doing driving this massive RV? What is an 18-year-old that can walk into this RV dealership driving this massive RV? There's restrictions on licenses anyway. There's restrictions on anybody being able to drive a big grapple truck or something like that. There's restrictions on anybody being able to drive a big grapple truck or something like that. There's restrictions on that. So why aren't there restrictions on these massive RVs?
Speaker 2:In my mind, just trying to figure out and decipher which is worse. Which one do I have the strength to go after? Which one can I make actual change with? Because I do believe the tragic way these girls died. There's something that has to happen out of it. I'm trying to do well with her name. I have the Brittany Lee Foundation and I'm trying to spread joy and love and happiness and I try to do that for her. But in my heart and soul I feel like that's not enough. I feel like the circumstances around this tragedy for these girls. There's something there and I'm just trying honestly to figure out what it is and how do I tackle it. How do I go about making change? Just how do I do this?
Speaker 1:Right, and I imagine you're leaning into your spirituality Completely, absolutely, a hundred percent. Yes, yeah, and I know we don't control timing.
Speaker 2:I know we don't control timing, I know so, 100% leaning into it, it's just looking for the right time, the right conversation.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and I do believe it's all through talking and it's all through one time I'm going to be talking to this one specific person and they're going to have a life experience probably similar to mine and we're going to connect and maybe the two of us will make it happen. You know what I mean and I do believe it's about relationships and I do believe it's about getting yourself in the right space at the right time and all things will happen and come.
Speaker 2:So, but part of that is just going through the grieving process and getting yourself out there, which is the hard part to do too. That's the hard part to do is because you never know when this little monster is going to creep up on you and take over, and many times I've had to excuse myself some situations because all of a sudden it just gets overwhelming and I have to excuse myself. So it's kind of getting all of that. Let's just say all your ducks in a row. So getting all your ducks in a row to be able to have the strength, the energy to actually articulate what you want to do, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I appreciate what you just said because in some ways, in regards to leaning into the spirituality and figuring out what the path is, is like you. You feel like this experience is bigger than you and like there's a calling you're supposed to do with it. And I've felt for almost four years the same thing with my podcast. I was like this is where I've started, but I feel like there's something bigger than me that's supposed to come out of it. And also, like you and like we said earlier, there are no coincidences who we meet and where we end up. So I admire you, basically surrendering right To whatever it is God has planned for you and walking along and just putting yourself out there, but also understanding the times when you're like, okay, I need to self-advocate and be gentle on myself and allow myself to feel what I'm feeling. So many people try to fight it and that's really hard, so I appreciate that you lean into it.
Speaker 2:I lean 100% into it. 100% into it. It's just funny because it's just. Anybody in my life now knows it's just. When they hear the stories come out of my mouth, they know it's my truth. They know it's like if I'm talking about this sign that I got, or this dream I had, or this conversation I had, or something like that, they know that I'm not joking, I'm serious about it. That that's who I am as a person. That makes me who I am. They can think I'm kooky, as I am, but it's okay.
Speaker 1:Nobody's been in your shoes, you know, and everybody deals with things differently. And I have a quick question for somebody listening that's like oh my gosh, I have no idea how to lean into myself or set that boundary. How did you learn to do that and what is your process? Because maybe it's something somebody else hasn't tried tried, I go with old-fashioned feel-it-in-my-bones gut reaction.
Speaker 2:So if I'm just being oh, I don't want to do that, you know what I mean. You have to definitely figure out laziness. You have to figure out just not wanting to do something. Things are a challenge. You know, nothing comes easy. So it's just even Britney's foundation with the duck race. Do I actually enjoy the actual process of the duck race and making sure the ducks are adopted? No, I don't. Do you know what I mean? So it's tough talking about the stories to people sometimes. It's actually tough putting yourself out there asking for donations and things like that. It's definitely tough. Do I do it because I know what the end result is is seeing smiles on kids' faces when they get these beautiful Easter baskets? Absolutely. Do I do it because I want to hear people smile when they say Brittany's name? Absolutely.
Speaker 2:So that situation that makes me uncomfortable, but I know it's a growth uncomfortable. It makes me grow. So it makes me grow as a person. It makes me connected to more people. So it's a good uncomfortable growth.
Speaker 2:But when you go into a situation and you just don't feel it, it gives you anxiety, it gives you a stress that doesn't feel right, doesn't give you any type of hope. It doesn't give you any type of excitement. It doesn't give you any type of end result of where something good is going to happen, whether it's a family relationship, a friend relationship, a work relationship, whatever it is. Just get out of it. There's always another job, there's always another friend, family members can come and go, and the good ones are going to be there with you no matter what, and they're going to accept you for who you are and understand who you are, realizing the difference between an uncomfortable situation that's going to make you grow and prosper as a person or an uncomfortable situation that's not healthy for your soul. So once you can understand the difference between those two, that's when it's easier to put up those boundaries.
Speaker 1:I love that, and have you felt that fire of passion before inside?
Speaker 2:Not to the degree that I have now with my daughter's legacy and memory. You know, I've always been one of those people where I take on a project and you know I obsess over it and ask my husband. I drive him nuts, so you know what I mean. So as I take over a project I'll obsess over it and I'll just think about it, think about it, think about it. But it's more of just either monetary thing you know what I mean or you know a project in the house that I want it to look nice or something like that. But with Brittany and her legacy and all of that, I truly believe that's my passion, that's my soul. No matter what it is in my life, it's directly tied to her. I always knew that. I always knew. You know she would always look at me and laugh with her little grin and be like, why are you so obsessed with me? You know she'd say stuff like that to me. So it's just like because I'm your mother, yeah, but like it's this amazing connection still, and it's just this amazing.
Speaker 2:You go through dark times, you definitely. I went through, I don't even want to say depression. I just went through a super dark time. I still have her car. We had just bought her a new car right before she passed away. So I still have that.
Speaker 2:I drive that sometimes and I get in her car. I listen to her music and it. I drive that sometimes and I get in her car, I listen to her music and it's just okay, I'm done. There's a tree right there. If I just hit that tree at this speed, I'm done. I'll get to go see you. That crosses your mind.
Speaker 2:Losing a child all the time. It's not a suicidal ideation, it's. I miss my daughter and I just want to see her, and this would be an easy way for me to see her. So there's a difference between the two. So getting through that darkness and realizing that's part of your everyday life and accepting it and knowing you have to work through it, that's also another way you got to put up boundaries. You can't not deal with it If you don't deal with it. I just feel like when it's your time to pass, you're going to have to deal with it. When you're trying to see all those beautiful people up in heaven that are there to meet you and you haven't dealt with it. So I think, dealing with the emotions that come to you in a day-to-day situation and just working yourself through them, to get through them and know that they're not going to go away. It's always going to be there, but you got through it for that day. You go to bed at night, you wake up in the morning. You do it all over again.
Speaker 2:I honestly feel like it's setting us up. Whatever I'm doing, today's hour, minute of this day is setting me up for when I see her. So when she sees me and I see her, she'll be so proud. She'll be like, mom, you didn't give up. You didn't give up, and that's what makes me going all the time. Is that right there is. You know, that tree may look great to drive that car into, but I know if I saw her she'd be so mad at me. So you know I can't do that. So I just know that I still have to go. So I still. I need her to be proud of me. So and that's where I see her I want her to I'm so proud of you, mom, I'm so proud of you, and that's my goal. That's for the day that I meet her is for her to say that to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know we had talked about how the grieving process is different when, say, you lose a parent, because I know sadly you lost your mom but it's different when you lose, say, your mom versus your child.
Speaker 2:Very different. I had lost my dad many years ago. It was 27 years ago. I lost my dad and I thought that was oh, wow, that was grief, that was hard. It's absolutely nothing like losing a child and dad. I love you. But it's a different, complete feeling.
Speaker 2:I lost my mom. She had dementia. I was happy to see my mom pass because she was suffering so much and I knew she was going to be with my daughter. That is just such a different feeling. I feel sad for my brothers and sisters. I'm sad for my nieces and nephews that their grandmother has passed. I'm sad that they're not going to be able to create more memories. But for me and myself she's with my daughter. So that makes me so happy. I miss my mom but, like gosh wouldn't I want my mom with my daughter. So it's a different, definitely a different feeling.
Speaker 2:But if you go back to losing my dad 27 years ago, where I thought that was a horrible feeling, it's nothing like it is losing a child, because you're losing actually part of who you are. You're losing part of your heart. It's like losing a limb. It can never be the same again. It can never, ever be the same.
Speaker 2:And I lost my dad. But I had married, I found my husband and my two beautiful step-sons and we created a family, we created a life and we had a lot of great memories and things like that with him. But it's just catching your breath all the time losing a child. It's constantly treading water. All the analogies they have out there about the wave, the treading, the water catching your breath they're all true, every one of them, because that's what it's like from a day-to-day thing. If you can get through your day, like I said earlier, and accomplish something within your day get your house full of groceries, Get your house clean, you know, go see your friends or do whatever it is, Go on a vacation If you can accomplish all of that after losing a child man, you're winning. You are winning.
Speaker 1:How is the grieving process for your husband, Brittany's dad?
Speaker 2:Complete opposite than mine. A lot of marriages don't make it because we're so different. The one thing with him and I is we respect each other's grieving process. His is completely opposite from mine. He stuffs it. He can't look at pictures, he doesn't look at videos. He can't do memories, he can't do anything like that. He has isolated himself a lot. He's isolated himself from friends. He's isolated himself a lot. He's isolated himself from friends. He's isolated himself from family. He got a dog.
Speaker 2:So wonderful little dog is his little, you know, his little partner in crime. And I'm very thankful for that dog because, believe it or not, he has such anger that I was afraid that he was going to get in a road rage incident or something or sometime or anything like that. He was at the accident scene so he saw the accident. He was there with his own two eyes and saw it. So his trauma through all of this is, I don't want to say worse than mine, but maybe worse than mine because he actually saw the accident scene. So he has that to deal with. On top of he has those mental images and everything. On top of seeing the girls in the vehicle, seeing the RV, he saw the actual accident. So he works through that pain every day. So he has listened to isolate himself. He has put a lot of love into me, into his two boys still.
Speaker 2:But it's different. I'm out there and if anybody brings up Brittany's name, I'm going to talk about it, I'm going to tell stories, I'm going to laugh and I'm going to sit there and we're going to tell the same stories 10 times over, and I wear this shirt all the time. If I'm out, somebody's like oh, I knew Brittany At the middle of Publix, I drop everything. I'm like oh, tell me the stories. He has to be in my everyday language and for him that's hard. So we're very fortunate, though, that we respect each other and respect how we grieve, and we've definitely it's I don't want to say trauma bonded, but our marriage has never been stronger because it's our love for her. The grieving process is so different for the both of us, but our love for her is so strong that we'll be together forever, you know.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, thank you. Let's talk a little bit about the Brittany Lee Foundation. I know we've touched upon it a little bit with the duckies and Easter baskets and whatnot, but we can just dig a little bit deeper into that for those who are wanting to know, and I will put the links in the show notes as well, if somebody wants additional information. Okay.
Speaker 2:After the accident I knew that I had to do something with my time. So I decided to do the Brittany Lee Foundation and I wasn't sure what direction I was going to go in. I wasn't even sure what it was going to be all about, but I just knew that I wanted to do something to go in. I wasn't even sure what it was going to be all about, but I just knew that I wanted to do something. The first probably year or two, we didn't really do much of a fundraiser or anything like that. We were just trying to figure things out. I would just do kind of nice deeds for people. I would do Christmas presents and things like that. We didn't really have a direction, we didn't really have a fundraiser, we didn't really have much. So I just remember her loving the little rubber duckies and so when I was pregnant my sister had told me which I didn't remember at the time my sister had told me that I was collecting these rubber ducks. So Brittany would have all of these rubber ducks. So of course through the year she lost them all. That's where I came up with Lee's Lucky Duck Race. It was. So you know we can do these ducks. It's a kind of a cute kids event and everything like that. This was our fourth year having the event. The event has grown every year. So each year what I like to do from the proceeds is I usually partner with a local nonprofit a smaller local nonprofit and I'll give them a portion of the proceeds. So we have donated over $50,000 to local nonprofits, which does not include the proceeds from this year's race. So this year's race we are right now currently vetting families that have been affected by the hurricanes, the tornadoes, so we're vetting families there. We have a handful of families that we'll be giving proceeds to from the race, from this year's race, and then the remaining proceeds is Easter baskets.
Speaker 2:We do Easter baskets for kids. There's a lot of egg hunts, there's a lot of little plastic-filled egg hunts and things like that. But I said nobody gives away full Easter baskets. So that's where I kind of developed that. And so the first year we started with 200 Easter baskets. We gave them to Graceway Village. Crystal's been amazing, she's been one of our biggest supporters, so we started with her giving her 200 Easter baskets to Graceway Village. And then word of mouth started getting out there that we had Easter baskets. So we just started growing it and growing it.
Speaker 2:Grace Packs is another great, amazing organization. They deal with food insecurities and children in the St Lucie County school systems. So we connected with them and we ended up one year giving them $800. So last year we did 2,250 Easter baskets. This year our goal is 4,000 Easter baskets that we're going to distribute to local kids in the Treasure Coast area. So it's very heartwarming but it's very sad at the same time.
Speaker 2:Last year we had the St Lucie Sheriff PAL program. They were kind enough to welcome us in there and let us use their facility so we could actually give the Easter baskets directly to the children. Because I usually go through third-party sources communities connected for kids, things like that so I don't actually really get to see the kids receiving the baskets. To see the kids' smiling faces when they received one of these Easter baskets, I mean that's what it's all about. That right is. When they received one of these Easter baskets, I mean that's what it's all about, that's right there. It just made my heart so happy looking at these kids and going oh my gosh, that's a little piece of Brittany's heart in your hands.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, when you make Easter baskets, I want to come help. Oh, absolutely, absolutely, and I really love that you were allowed to give them to the kids and experience that. It makes it so much more personal, not just for the child, but for you as well. It's a beautiful.
Speaker 2:It just it makes me smile and it makes me realize, wow, that is amazing. But back to what we talked about before is I don't think that's it, though. I don't think that's enough. I think it has to do with, you know, the accident and the elderly driving of the RV. So, as much as that smile makes me happy, I think there's more to her story than just that.
Speaker 1:Before we go, what would you like the listeners to take away from your story?
Speaker 2:today. Everybody has a purpose in life. Everybody has something, somebody or something out there. That is their purpose. Don't let anybody, anything or anyone stand in your way until you can figure out what your purpose is and just go for it. We all have pain. We all have heartache. We all have a story to tell. Live fearlessly, like Brittany. Live fearlessly. Just jump into life. Do whatever makes you happy, because we're all going to be together on the other side. You don't have to accept what happens to you. I'm not going to accept it. I still believe she's here. I don't have to accept it. I don't need to accept that she's gone because she's not. I know she's not. She's not here in physical form, but she's still here. Anything makes you happy, makes your heart and soul happy in life. Go for it and do it.
Speaker 1:I love that message and so many people because of their limiting beliefs, they're their own reason that they are achieving their dreams, and so to continually share messages like yours, where you continue to overcome different tragedies and things like that. And here you are today sharing a message Believe in yourself, don't give up. I love that. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I got to take my own advice sometimes, though.
Speaker 1:I know, sometimes I'm like I need to tattoo my arm or something because it's always on me right so I can look down and be like, oh yeah, that's what I'm supposed to think.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you can see it, but I actually tattooed. It's white ink. You can't see it, but it says Brittany Lee on my arm in white ink. I did tattoo my arm, so when I'm done I just look at her. I look at her name on my arm in white ink, you know. I never thought about white ink, but I might have to think about that. Yeah, because it's for me. It's not for anybody else, it's for me. I know it's there, so if I look I can see it Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I need is messages. For me, life just you get so many messages thrown at you. Thank you for that, yvonne. Thank you for being my guest today on the I Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate it so much. Thank you, this is just the beginning for us. I will talk to you soon.
Speaker 1:That sounds great and thank you for listening. This is Jen Lee with the I Need Blue podcast. If you want to learn anything and everything about I Need Blue, visit my website, wwwineedbluenet. And remember you are stronger than you think. Until next time you.
